This one’s better.

Authorities say the Blowfish is still at large.

I fully expect Nick Saban to come down hard on these two men and dock them a full game’s pay.

Hootie and the Blow.

I can explain this. It’s a cultural thing. Y’see, Kiwis fucking WORSHIP Howard Cosell.

Seriously. Guys as obese as Biggie basically have micropenis due to excessively large pubic fat pads.

You know what I believe? I believe that Bill Simmons is sick. (Really, look at that close-up. That's not the face of a healthy man.)

This is pretty lame stuff but I honestly enjoyed the last part because enough people do still believe in the public financing scam.

Every time I see one of your comments, I read it in Tim Meadows’s voice. For some reason, this comment was made infinitely better by that.

Wilson worked hard on this speech. He read through a ton of Google search results to find it.

This is so stupid. You act like having luck isn't hard work. The money to pay for that shaman's incantation didn't appear out of thin air!

hard work CAN lead to success. But here is the problem:

I get it, although it could be said a little clearer.

You didn't actually read the article, did you?

Donald Trump’s political success, as based on people’s approval of his business “acumen,” would be like, if 30 years from now, Kim Kardashian became a presidential frontrunner. That’s how fucked up this is. She’s literally followed his business model to a T: rely on suckers for money; shill your name as often as…

For anybody who wants to hear more from Mr. Frank, he spoke to Sam Seder about luck and his book earlier this week:

Hannah states in the article, “This is not nihilism, your actions still matter and Frank isn’t arguing that life is all about luck”

It’s really hard to get the message the writer is sending when you don’t read more than the headline of the article.

Pictured: Inadequate Man