She is absolutely saying you can vote for someone who eagerly and submissively negotiates with corporations (the Democrat), or someone who literally is the corporations (the Republicans). And if you’re broke, you better choose the former.

A flotilla of Jezebel contributors drifts away, and we closeup on a pen hovering over a piece of notebook paper:

Nah, it’s still shitty. She’s saying vulnerable people can’t withdraw their support from the process when it assiduously refuses to represent them.

This is fine. Honestly I'm more worried when Clark the Cub rocks out.

Exactly. The crap these kids make belongs in the trash, but at least you pretend the pine cone hair brush is useful and then throw it out once they’re out of the room.

You could say there’d be a total breakdown of...

That’s harsh. Eagle Scouts usually work so hard on their projects!

My wife and i have joked about a list, but like you say, it’s all about the fact that the list is full of unattainables. Even if we could meet them, i don’t think that either Jessica Biel or Scarlett Johannson is looking for the brand of hobbit hotness that i bring to the table, and my wife is confident that Johnny…

Adequate Man; where fake infidelity becomes a topic for some reason.

I’m sure some couples actually have this. I want to know who has the saddest one. I’m sure one couple’s list is comprised of Joey Fatone and one of the less famous members of Wilson Philips.

Both my wife and I have Amy Klein, formerly guitarist of Titus Andronicus, on our list. But we’re weird like that…

But what about Cloris Leachman?

Even Florence Henderson?

I only have this issue when I eat at the Y

Based off of the podcasts of previous stars, everyone who is young and single bones someone (either their coach or one of the olds coaches).

I’m calling Bullshit. There’s no fucking chance somebody is signing up to have sex with Kirstie Allie.

Don't be too hard-on him.

I mean, so they definitely had sex right?

Is Reggie Jackson a sandwich?