It’s safe to say that the Conflicts of Interest Board isn’t #UpForWhatever.

Sup?

But now where will I get my fill of sideline shots of Mike Shanahan’s fucked-up red face?

Ha! I like yours better.

Stan Kroenke looks like the fourth-place finisher in a Sam Elliott look-alike contest.

Pictured: “AFC North team psychologist.”

“Mr. Rodriguez, Satan is on line 1.”

Wow.

You can’t be flopping the nuts at a poker table.

“P.P.P.P.P.S. Teacher hits us when we make mistakes. Send help.”

Guy really knows how to jam the receiver.

How much money has Schilling cost himself?

This whole thing further proves what I’ve been saying for years: Lou Merloni is our Walter Cronkite.

“And here come the ushankas!”

Based on a minimal understanding of Buddhism, I feel confident saying that David Bowie has been reincarnated as this video game.

Calipari looks like he mainlines Pinaud Clubman.

Jeffrey Luhnow...didn’t change his password.

I don’t even get the comparison. One’s part and parcel of a soulless, win-at-all-costs corporation that doesn’t value its fans, and the other’s the New England Patriots.

A non-consensual boning? I know just the man.

You guys dare me to move to Cleveland?