Maybe try this?

You know, teenage girls post pretty dumb photos on the internet sometimes, but it's clear that they don't intend those photos to be scrutinized at family dinner tables and described in detail on blogs. Yes, they put those photos on social media, but clearly they mean them for their friends, etc.

I will tell you what I told Chobani: if you don't want the mold in the damn yogurt, then don't make it in my bathtub because that is all that is in there.

Where Buddy Ryan coached them to multiple titles.

The Eagles. The franchise that hasn't won a fucking thing and yet they and their fans act like they've won eight Super Bowls. This is a fan base that hated Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb for never winning a title, but get rock hard dicks and stiff nipples talking about Buddy Ryan & Randall Cunningham. You know that…

Not even Jesus wept.

And nothing of value was lost.

Olbermann schooled Prisco tonight. Keith was being a moralistic douchebag as expected, but still schooled.

It ends up sounding like "underpants" to me...

But they love being single-minded about certain issues!

A question:

Do conservatives like "single" anything?

The hate single parents, single-payer health care, and Singles (the strangely underrated movie by Cameron Crowe). What's with them?

(An exception, surely: Single-malt scotch.)

I think as long as they stay in the "Missionary Position", they are doing the Lord's work.

You didn't see it? Must have zoomed right past your eyes.

It'd be terrible if we thought of the issue as involving real people with real lives and real children.

Some of you need to calm down, we all realize sports years ago was way better because guys simply played for pride, the only "enhancers" players used was adrenaline, and high school football players chose schools like Auburn due to their excellent Humanities department.

None of this is true. These lies are the despicable work of frustrated jock Jordan "Digger" Barnes, a star football player as a youth who has been relegated to NAIA Oklahoma Baptist while Johnny Football ended up winning glory, the girl, and the Heistman Trophy. One day the true story will be told, and apparently…

Lean in / clean up.

Yes. These women are not victims, sorry.

Well, it's official — the wives of prominent men who behave badly cannot possibly win. Every move will be dissected and criticized by the chattering class, and depending on her response she will either be dismissed as a power-hungry harpy or looked down on and patronized as sad and pathetic. I'm glad that Jezebel…

I came here all prepared to be like "WTF Jezebel, what do you mean 'everything wrong with Huma Abedin'" but I'm glad that was not necessary.