My friends go here a lot. I'm excited it's getting some attention. Good job, North Dakota. Way to make the news for something that doesn't suck.

THE COP OUT OF ALL COP OUTS

When I saw "Turn Down for What" won direction, I thought it meant that it literally won for having the word "down" in it. Like the category was full of song titles with directions in them. Help me.

I know this is a little weird, but I get sort of jealous of these videos because they are able to provide so much more for Chicken than I can for Diamond and Radagast. They make me feel like a bad hamstermom.

This must be how regular parents feel browsing Facebook and Pinterest and seeing all of the fancypants organic…

My boyfriend lives on Staten Island. I am there all the time but today I had to work.

Lol @ me not in Staten Island for the one thing I'd actually love to be over there for.

The real fucking crime here is that this woman worked there for eight years and was only up to $10.55 per hour.

He went to jail, actually, so we both lucked out here and our respective shitheads got what was coming to them. Go Team Lindsey and kismet!

my old roommate and I had one of these. He was shameless. He knew our schedules and we never knew. I slipped a night class and was in my room with the lights off, playing on my phone, when he assumed I was gone like I usually was on Monday nights and tried to get into her room when her back was turned. The cops came…

I couldn't be more disappointed in this. So much negativity here for a girl who, as acknowledged, makes her living by being cute and fun. Let it be. We need something fluffy that isn't topical right now. I like the song. Not everything has to be heavy; some things just are.

smize girl smize

Hiding from a bad storm one time in college, I was pleasantly baked, watching a movie and cuddling with my boyfriend, when I was overcome with a desire to mix a ranch packet with hot chocolate. My boyfriend vetoed it immediately so I texted my friends to get them to say it sounded delicious and he should let me do it.

I have a legitimate question and this seems like the safest and most reasonable place to ask it. I am 22 and since I was 18, there have been three separate instances of me being really good friends with a black guy, either from school or work, and all of them thought(/think!) teasing me about this word is the height…

They look like what I see really old women on the train wearing and also like the tights my mom used to stick me in for Easter mass when I was three or four years old. Pink polka dot dress, gigantic white sunhat, and fluffy teased bangs not included.

My first job was at a daycare. I spent a year in the baby room, a summer floating between all age groups, and then got promoted my senior year of high school to running the after-school program. It was a dream. Arts and crafts, movies all day, snacks on snacks, field trips, and only three hours a day. Plus, I really…

Am I the only one who really, really does not like these stockings?

Vices. Got it. If anyone needs me, I will be eating B-grade Chinese and drinking cheap beer, watching Pretty Little Liars. I think you're on to something.

Hi!

His fucking Twitter picture is literally him in a shirt that says "I do alpha male shit."

We are living in a fake world. We are all being trolled. There is just no other way.

I've already expressed my love of Taco John's in the Jezebel comments section, but I did forget to mention, in my most perfect ode to T-John's, that one of the guys who regularly cashiered at the one in my hometown had these huge swastikas tattooed on both sides of his neck. Not only was it just so, so shitty that…

Thank you. It seems sort of fitting this news came on this day. It proves that it can honestly happen to anyone. In a really sick sort of way, that makes me feel sort of better, too.