I bought a Tiger Talkboy on eBay. You know, the one from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. When it arrived I thought, “Great, I just wasted $20 on this.” ... Until the next time I got drunk when my friend and I sat around all night recording us saying “Hi, this is Peter McAllister, the father. I’d like a hotel room…

I’m just amazed Gary Busey was able to get pregnant.

The dude takes pleasure in writing about the violent, yet slightly comical deaths of children. Sounds like a normal chap.

I live in NYC, I’ll give Sunny and Annie’s a try.

The other two?

I like to imagine that people who get their cheesesteaks with whiz vs literally any other kind of cheese are probably the same people that treat their illnesses with prayer and leeches because they are unaware of modern medicine.

Dave Attell described a cheesesteak the best: “It’s a cow that’s been put through a paper shredder and smothered in a bukkake of cheese.”

DiNic’s Roast Pork sandwich is the best sandwich in America, and easily in contention for best in the world. If we made that the official food of the city from the start, maybe we’d actually get some respect.

Say what you want about Eagles fans, but they are nothing compared to the living breathing sewage that call themselves Flyers fans. They’re South Jersey tramps with Flyers tattoos, 95% of whom have been fucked by a member of the team (probably Jeff Carter), or racist obese men who talk about how the Flyers are one of…

I listen to Josh Innes on WIP because I am a masochist. The other day a woman called up and said Tim Tebow should make the team because he rescued people from a burning building. It was on a commercial. This lady thought a commercial was real. Those are our fans.

+40 acres

Where's Michael Vick when you need him?

Now I keep picturing Christian Bale alone with Michael Mann at his house. Dressing up as Ferrari and running around his living room making "vroom" sounds like Mann sits in his recliner, amused.

I'm sure he's filled with Hannuka guilt.

This is the Men in Black Alien Attack ride at Universal Studios, essentially. That ride is awesome.

Not to mention the fact that by introducing the villains, they are undermining one of the key aspects to Batman's arrival: his use of the costume inspired others to do the same, but for evil purposes.

HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!

Be sure to watch the original Babycakes and Professor Brothers cartoons online. They're pretty good.

Slow down!

Mmmhmm, and I bet those slave masters paid their slaves a minimum of $500,000 a year too.