The point is that dudes want to take the opportunity to tell us how big their wieners are.

There’s a Chinese buffet opening near my house. Bet it’s for that.

Not buying it. She’s actually the mastermind of the whole thing. She’s the sixth robber! She’s wearing the uniform and the Buzzy Bee Gang traditional colors!!

I hope for the sake of the nation that one day, the Green Party will discover that sarcasm does, indeed, exist.

Getting a lot of mixed signals here in re: your status as a clown.

Are you telling me all the time and money I spent at Clown College were for naught???

Clown Forest is America’s least visited national park.

More importantly, the authorities should be warning the children not to eat any food offered in the clown forest. For if they do...

Arby’s.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANYONE SAW TED CRUZ!!!???

It is an eating disorder, plain and simple. Cue the trolls who will tell me everyone had a choice to eat what they want in 3,2,1....

$11 in California will buy you $5 worth of groceries elsewhere and this was a seasonal job. The house where this went down was supposedly low income housing. There was no working gas, electric, or plumbing. Oh, and the dozen or so menfolk that lived there bailed out when the cops showed up. So the actual number of…

I can just imagine the cops/social workers looking at them and saying What the hell is wrong with you, how can you live like this and them looking right back and saying I’ve lived like this all my life, why do you care now?

Right? They should be wearing potato sacks and talking on tin can phones!

How many dead dogs per classroom these days?

Look, dude, the tomato sandwich is American. It’s one of the few good things to come out of the American South, so just shut up, stop being a snobby, whiny food elitist, and accept that white bread (Wonder or Sunbeam, please), thick tomato slices, kosher salt, black pepper, and mayo come together to make one of the…

On most counts, I agree with you. But plain white bread is the perfect choice for this sandwich because it serves the role of tofu. It takes on the flavor of the tomato, mayo, salt & pepper. You don’t need to compete with that perfection. You just need a vehicle.

I eat mine over a plate so I can slurp up the mayo/tomato juice at the end. This ain’t my first rodeo!

This is the ONLY piece I found relevant on Jezebel this week, which of course merely speaks of my own passion for this largely unrecognized triumph of a sandwich. Hats off to you Kelley. You always keep things fresh, real and tasty here. Btw: my own preference: if your sandwich does not start getting a bit 'sloppy'…

And don’t refrigerate your fucking tomatoes.