Man, I love politics. The second you make a joke about voting for a psychopath and pretending to place sports loyalty above political beliefs, people rush to attack you on a presumed political stance. Go fuck yourself.

haha yeah fuck that guy (but not literally)

Fuck, I’m going to have to vote for Trump now, don’t I? It’s not that I hate the Yankees (because I do). It’s the sports bigamy that’s the problem. You can only cheer for one team per sport. None of this “but I got to have to cheer for a team in a different conference” or “it’s another team but it’s the same city”…

“A lot of people think Donald Trump is somewhat of a racist,” said Kumar, accurately, to The Hill, before confidently peeling away from truth. “His partnership with the Republican Hindu Coalition will set that aside.”

And we’re not only talking about baseball either!

It’s not “So, did I get the job or what, bitch?” Hmm, good to know.

Goddamn people think having a family gives them permission to commit genocide. Don’t get me started about seats on a plane...

That photo looks like Bill just walked in on his parents doing it.

Anybody try Tillamook? It isn’t REAL fruit but it’s better than the full sugar Yoplait yogurt I was eating previously.

(flips over lunch table) Fuck your market!

I guess half a million is the difference in the price of integrity.

Sorry bro but I heard leg press machines are useless and not worth the time?

it’s usually because I do standing curls and I do my set close to a bench. Just ask after I’m done with my set! It won’t take more than half a minute! I guarantee you won’t be starting your set immediately.

Also, how the fuck are chicken wings so expensive? It’s the throwaway part!! I swear, you can convince America to buy anything if you add enough sauce and advertising.

I don’t know which camping pisses me off more, at the gym or in video games.

How about people asking if I’m using the bench while I’m in the middle of a set? No, I’m not but at least have the courtesy to wait until I’m finished to ask!

Yeah, and what’s with the dig at his daughter? “Fuck you for ever getting excited about anything, little lady.” I hope she shits all over him when he gets excited about his favorite sports team.

My dream is for a Cardinals-Giants wildcard playoff, where the winner gets their nuts kicked by the Cubs (who, of course, destroys my Dodgers).

Blowjobs!

Steely Dan? Better get the jaws of life.