it’s usually because I do standing curls and I do my set close to a bench. Just ask after I’m done with my set! It won’t take more than half a minute! I guarantee you won’t be starting your set immediately.

Also, how the fuck are chicken wings so expensive? It’s the throwaway part!! I swear, you can convince America to buy anything if you add enough sauce and advertising.

I don’t know which camping pisses me off more, at the gym or in video games.

How about people asking if I’m using the bench while I’m in the middle of a set? No, I’m not but at least have the courtesy to wait until I’m finished to ask!

Yeah, and what’s with the dig at his daughter? “Fuck you for ever getting excited about anything, little lady.” I hope she shits all over him when he gets excited about his favorite sports team.

My dream is for a Cardinals-Giants wildcard playoff, where the winner gets their nuts kicked by the Cubs (who, of course, destroys my Dodgers).

Blowjobs!

Steely Dan? Better get the jaws of life.

Really? What if the pie was rhubarb?

Nervous liberal here. This is like that one scene in Game of Thrones where the person thought they were safe but they really weren’t.

Jesus is that a before or after picture?

Thanks. I was going to make a joke about the ethnicities of the murderer and victim but the guy is actually black so...😁.

As someone on the Internet who is too lazy to do any research, can someone tell me if she did it or not?

Thats an empty ass stadium. Damn, losing the Olympics was huge.

ORIENTATION IS NOT A CHOICE!

Kevin’s mom sounds awesome.

damn somebody watched all five seasons of Girls?

Some guy at an Angels game was angling so hard for a ball from the dugout. He got one and immediately gave it to the kid next to him, to the crowd’s adoration. “Now everybody’s gotta suck my dick!” Fucking try hards.

That Olympics stumble cost that team so much endorsement money. Now it’s three years until the World Cup and three years is a more than enough time to forget them.