it’s usually because I do standing curls and I do my set close to a bench. Just ask after I’m done with my set! It won’t take more than half a minute! I guarantee you won’t be starting your set immediately.

Also, how the fuck are chicken wings so expensive? It’s the throwaway part!! I swear, you can convince America to buy anything if you add enough sauce and advertising.

I don’t know which camping pisses me off more, at the gym or in video games.

How about people asking if I’m using the bench while I’m in the middle of a set? No, I’m not but at least have the courtesy to wait until I’m finished to ask!

Yeah, and what’s with the dig at his daughter? “Fuck you for ever getting excited about anything, little lady.” I hope she shits all over him when he gets excited about his favorite sports team.

Professor X looks...different.

Good! There’s very little meat in these gym mats.

My dream is for a Cardinals-Giants wildcard playoff, where the winner gets their nuts kicked by the Cubs (who, of course, destroys my Dodgers).

Blowjobs!

Steely Dan? Better get the jaws of life.

Really? What if the pie was rhubarb?

Nervous liberal here. This is like that one scene in Game of Thrones where the person thought they were safe but they really weren’t.

Public disembowelment.

So what happened to the Bloom arc? Or was that another title?

Yeah look at what Spider-Man did (or did not do). Poor Uncle Ben...

(Godwin’s Law pops up from his bowl of cereal) Did someone call me?

Is that feather to scale?!

Jesus is that a before or after picture?

Thanks. I was going to make a joke about the ethnicities of the murderer and victim but the guy is actually black so...😁.