You deserve a zillion stars for this. I genuinely laughed out loud. Too bad I was reading in bed at 5:30 am next to a sleeping husband and dog.

Don’t forget the Barbary Pirates, the Spanish, and, of course, America’s most deadly enemy, Grenada.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?! SHUT IT BACK DOWN!

LIGHT THE FEINBERG SIGNAL!

Drunk History is my everything.

I thought this was some kind of metaphor about women Republicans, not a literal anecdote about some childish bro breaking shit in her actual office. Well. That’s enough internet for today.

I love Drunk History and can’t wait to watch this.

My wife was lead on a jury in a similar case a few years ago. The defendant was also being accused of raping boys in various bathrooms. Our own boys were in grade school at the time and my wife was horrified, traumatized, and haunted by her experience on the jury. It seems to me that courts should offer some sort of…

I’ve seen 4 images. They are burned into my eyes forever, and I’ll never forget them. :(

As soon as Tiffany passes the bar he’ll remember her. He doesn’t like paying lawyers. I didn’t even know Eric existed until the election!

The Tiffany of the male children.

I’m an attorney, and nothing has been more disturbing than when internally investigating a corporate case relating to a purely business matter, we accidentally stumbled upon a stash of child pornography that a high level employee had kept on his work computer. We immediately reported it to the authorities.

I was on a grand jury for six months a few years back. I’m glad I didn’t have to see what you saw. I did have to listen to women and kids testify about their rapes. I knew that stuff was going on but the number of sexual assaults we heard was way more than I thought. I gained a greater empathy for those victims and a…

My Naval Reserve unit had an NYPD officer who did computer forensics, and he told me he had nightmares about the shit that he had to watch as part of the job. That’s something that you’ll never unsee.

They better be careful. They had to stop both Jonathan Rhys Meyers Henry VIII on HBO and The Borgias on Showtime because they ran out of money.

Dude is 11 or 12. He gets a pass.

Senate Majority Minority Leader Chuck Schumer

I just found it out a couple of days ago. I’m sure if Maggie Haberman knew who I was she wouldn’t be happy that I knew

The nyt can go fuck themselves.