When I was a kid we went to white church, so i was used to only 45 min to an hour. So then we went to see my old ass Jamaican Grandma and went to church not in the city ( montego bay or kingston) but like the country. Where we are from. When I tell you that shit was legit 4 hours. You would have thought I was in the…

Oswald Bates: True Genius. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to liquidate my bowels in the Jheri Curl of society

This came to mind:

Nipsey Hussle’s (lawl btw because that’s a pretty gay street name but I guess nobody told him as a joke) original post reads dangerously close to the kind of aggressively misspelled, vaguely-pro-God, randomly capitalized, angry posts I see in the Briebart’s comments section fervently explaining why the walking sac of…

if that, we have one priest, who is retired but keeps going for vacations had 45 minutes and actually gets an interesting sermon in.(roman catholic)

The Amish for the most part keep to themselves. That was part of the problem in the 2016 election they don’t pay too much attention to national politics and you get guys coming in talking to them and making the impression that Hillary Clinton was going to destroy their way of life. They were overwhelmingly in favor of…

One million dollerrrssss was my 1st thought.

She is fifty years old. She and Nicole Kidman are the same age. If you put her next to Nicole Kidman, she’d look like Nicole’s mother.

Ain’t nobody calling him and he ain’t got no one to call. He pays the bill every month but hasn’t noticed it doesn’t work for the past 15 years. 

I thought phone companies couldn’t even recognize rotary phones.

“I learned that when you see other people start running, you start running.”

It’s reductive and unfair to assess Katie Roiphe’s career & views as being one giant “fuck you” to mom, but it’s also very tempting.

Jeezus!

They don’t necessarily mean positive, though that is the general connotation. The shit my dog took in the basement last night was both remarkable and extraordinary, but it was definitely not a good thing.

Are you kidding? He’s never even been grey.

OH FUCK YOU, ROIPHE, JUST FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW THIS MINUTE YOU EVIL COLLABORATIVE CYCLOPS. Christ! I thought we’d gotten rid of her! I thought her nasty denialist ass had gotten squished out after the world had to admit date rape was a real thing. But noooo, she’s coming back like herpes just to make our lives more…

Dangerously cute

It seems to me that in the current environment, in which one of Roy Moore’s accusers had her house burned down and you can get death threats out of twitter beefs, the newsworthy bar for outing something like this has to be set pretty high.