“When the angry T-Rex corners the huntress in a box canyon, it seems more interested in her wet womanhood than in her flesh.”

He has no problem liquidizing his assets

Us North Carolinians aren’t messing with South Carolina, we’re too busy feeling safe from the theoretical danger of trans folks doing, uhh, we haven’t figured that out yet.

And the national right to enforce your state’s rights in other states, if you’ve ever taken a look at the Fugitive Slave Act.

And lost.

When you strip away all the heritage bullshit, what’s left is the battle flag of a traitor army that fought for slavery.

THE CIVIL WAR WAS ABOUT STATES’ RIGHTS BRO

To be fair this is Duke vs South Carolina. Are these protesters or just avid fans?

“It’s about heritage!”*

YEAH IN THE SAME WAY I’M “STRONGLY CONSIDERING” MAKING A RUN AT ALEXANDRA DADDARIO

Dear Adrian Peterson,

As a Mets fan (sigh), I’ve been willing to put up with a lot of bull shit but Tebow is where I have finally drawn the line. Also, let’s not pretend like this guy isn’t completely roided out right now. Fucking joke.

More on his amazing recovery here

Rivers Romo needs to grow up and start a band called “Geezer”

“The Pile of Deuces”?

You mean that fire burnin’ in the outfield?

Amishspin did a similar piece entitled “Wow! Look Upon Colby Rasmus’s Beard, And Ovulate.”

Rumspringa training.

Kellyanne Conway confirmed that Trump is a great golfer. In fact, she referred to his last win as The Putting Green Masacre.

Ugh. A racist AND a homophone!