I've been a workplace smoker and am now a workplace pumper. I am much more conscious about the time I spend pumping than I ever was about the time I spent smoking, but haven't gotten comments on either from my employer.

I don't play Candy Crush, but play similar casual games while I am breastfeeding in the middle of the night. It keeps me from falling asleep on top of my baby. I can't think of a lot of other excuses, though.

I'll stick with my soap with a prize inside!

I haven't previously heard that fan theory. Now I need to re-read everything with that in mind.

Shit indeed.

No, I'm talking about two confirmed deaths. One during the wedding, and one particularly ignoble death that I expect will happen later in the season.

There are two upcoming deaths, both "bad guys" that I am really not looking forward to. The Red Wedding was bad-ass, but the wedding that followed actually really bummed me out.

Oh never mind. Both of them only have classes from morning until very early afternoon. I'm at work then, like a loser. I guess evening swimming will have to do for now.

For a good night's sleep I will pay all the money. It looks like both are fairly close to me, so I might go check them both out.

The Parents Night Out deal is only for kids age 3-9, but I'm very excited to find out that there is a place I can take my 1 year old for some serious tumbling since most places don't start until 18 or 24 months. Maybe if he spends a few hours on the monkey bars he will sleep instead of spending all night scaling the…

Squatters are the absolute worst. They ruin public restrooms for everyone else. I once had a girl ask me if I sat or squatted on the first date - squatting was an automatic disqualifier for her. I think she was on to something.

Is there a rule about first and last names both being last names? I ask on behalf of my brother, who has two last names with two more last names sandwiched in-between.

Oooh.. that is an excellent name. Also, I thought I was the only one who watched Rome. Are you also still haunted by images of Brutus swinging some pipe?

That's fantastic. Now I want to know the names of your other children.

Precisely. He is named after George Harrison, although his Star Wars themed nursery might suggest otherwise.

You must hate it that my Harrison doesn't even have a dad. Although maybe in a great stroke of irony we wound up with a sperm donor named Harry. Probably not.

My son is named Harrison Gallifrey. I fully expect that at some point (after he learns how to talk) he will give up and decide to go by either Harry or HG, but in the meantime I am enjoying the hell out of his name.

Not necessarily true. I pay unemployment for my nanny, and we have a pretty comprehensive contract in place that includes a 30-day notice (except in cases of gross misconduct) for termination. Being in HR, I wanted to keep everything completely on the books.

Am I a terrible mom who doesn't care about her kid because his nanny only has about a semester of college? You know what? College isn't for everyone. If the little dude wants it for himself some day I'm all for it, but he's going to be paying for it with loans and scholarships. Or maybe by bringing things full cycle…

When I was little, I was sent out to whack a tree with a stick when I was being an asshole. It helped. And no, I am not a violent person at all.