Toronto police would have found the guy even sooner, but when the initial report of a big baby getting hit in the face with beer spray came in, the police said to tell Prince Fielder to stop being such a pussy.

It’s nice to see that this type of unacceptable fan behavior is being properly dealt with. There’s nothing worse than seeing some bandwagon fan with first row seats sleeping through half the game.

I never said it was a solution. There might be other tactics.

I still can’t believe the backlash that she got for taking off her shirt.

I hear you on the shopping in the girls’ section. My daughter refuses to be present when her underwear is being purchased, so I get to brave that gauntlet alone every few months. It’s a miracle that I haven’t been arrested with “Nihao, Kai-Lan” panties in my cart.

As a fellow stay-at-home dad, can we please get some motherfucking changing stations in men’s public restrooms? For fuck’s sake.

Counterpoint:

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

For the moment, let’s ignore the greater mass of nonsense in your post to to focus on one particular grain:

On the bright side, “Girlfriend’s dog” was the last thing I needed to win NFL Domestic Violence Bingo.

It’s pretty fucked up that this guy’s being given all the responsibility for this. I mean, just look at how the victim’s dressed.

Oh I have the best story about a wedding proposal...

Responsible for the death of civilization one week at a time...

I worked for Exponent for just over ten years, and this report is like many other reports that I have seen. While I was there, we never wrote a report if it didn’t support our client’s case. If the forensic evidence was completely clear that our client was culpable, we would not produce a report and our client could…

Potter’s family is really regretting the decision not to stage an intervention before he hit rock bottom.

I don’t think it’s possible to trump “hellloooooo” for passive-aggressive.

I’m Hard of Hearing, and Starbucks is a huge fucking nightmare for me. Usually I’ll go to a really small one that is the third Starbucks in a 500 foot radius so it’s not busy at all, but a few weeks ago I went to the biggest, busiest one because it was on my way to work. When I got up to the counter to pay, I couldn’t…

The secrecy was so unnecessary—all they needed to do was announce that the brand was evolving and Tennessee fans would demand never to hear about it again.

Mouton also tells a similar story of when he sacked Tom Brady, and Brady told him he would, “Knock the wind out of him.”

I generally find that the quality of a Chinese restaurant is inversely proportional to the % of its sales made up of buffalo wings, chicken tenders, and french fries.