Before his Super Bowl performance, I asked people’s favorite Petty song.

I’m going to keep saying this until it happens: Shannon Sharpe deserves his own show.

In everyone’s defense, this entire game was a complete shitshow.

This sounds like some bullshit a *insert team name here* fan would spew.

I mean, the assertion is obviously correct or you wouldn’t have to pass legislation for food assistance, health insurance, etc. The question is why you’d ever want to elect anybody who translates a rather bland Constitutional assertion to justify his unconscionable soak-the-rich/fuck-everybody-else policy priorities.

Congrats, whatever passes for a Democratic national organization, this particular Senate race was even more un-losable than Clinton v. Trump and yet you managed.

At least Rivers is going about trying to fill the stadium the old-fashioned, inefficient-but-fun way

At least he’s stayed hidden for the duration of the game (9 attempts, 12 yards)

You should get a gift basket for mentioning this. Wait, this ain’t a Marlins post.

He’s gone from people wondering if he’s Paul from The Wonder Years to people wondering if he’s John Turturro.

If you’re a Sixers fan be thankful he didn’t dislocate his elbow.

Why this could bring down his Presidency

For the 10,000th time on Deadspin! (confetti inexplicably rains down in parents’ basement)

Hey, you profited off of a picked-up flag and Bill O’Brien’s insanely stupid 3rd-and-1 playcalling last week, let’s call it a draw (the Pats could be 1-3 and 0-3 at home)

I’m still pissed they re-booted D.A.R.Y.L. as A.I.

I guess we’ll never know because we’ll never get 10,000 LA fans in that shoebox.

New design for the side of the helmet.

The Collins legacy.

This is what they were going off about in Spain this weekend, right?

Evidently the prayer wasn’t for points.