The thing that sustains me despite my unhealthy lifestyle is the ability to pass on as many Titanic theatrical re-releases as possible.

To take the merest of openings to talk about the Rockets, I think we know what they’re like without Chris Paul, because it’s basically last year’s team if Patrick Beverley were injured. Still not sure why we dumped everybody under the age of 28 for Chris Paul unless there’s some 2018 free agent we’re aiming for.

I guess he answers the question: What if a late-stage alcoholic Lon Chaney, Jr. became the favorite talk show host for racist dead-enders?

My TV characters’ breath smells like TV character food.

See also:

Now apologize for my stomach cramps.

By saying insanely popular you’re implying that their popularity is the product of disordered minds, i.e. there is no rational reason for them to be popular, or in other words are shitty products.

By saying insanely popular you’re implying that their popularity is the product of disordered minds, i.e. there is…

If neither deal is with Miramax, then the story could be called No Haddish for Weinstein.

It’s called Gentleman’s Quarterly, Britt, you don’t get a vote (smokes cigar, sips from snifter of brandy).

I was surprised at how many found their way into even later seasons, even one of my favorites (Devil’s Due, thanks to Marta Dubois)

“Remember when you had to kind of feel bad about being an abject asshole? Well purge those 18 months from your memory, we’re here to enable your petty, cutting-off-your-nose-to-spite-your-face, dictated-by-others resentment!”

Tell them that they’re destroying environmentally unfriendly used-polystyrene pod creators and therefore helping Mother Nature, maybe they’ll drive their General Lee replica car off a cliff.

I remember the days they’d just write unpublished letters to the editor, and this (only the truly energetic racists would produce pamphlets) was their only outlet.

You think he’s stunned now, wait until The Hague’s finest prosecutors get through with him during his case before the International Criminal Court.

Had it been reviewed by the AV Club it would have been mostly C’s and D’s through the first two seasons. Thank God for syndication, which I guess was the late 80s answer to Netflix.

Maybe it’s his feeling good about ruling a Conference that produces about 1.4 good teams per basketball season.

(Kinja 2061) Check it out, another 44 years without a trophy, now THAT’S Knicks-y.

They could meet again in the Eastern Conference playoffs, a phrase which will be one of my primary arguments in a case to disband the Eastern Conference before the International Criminal Court.

BTW, Deadspin, congrats on the user-generated cesspool. I’m so glad to be grey with my moronic brothers.

You can effort that shit all you want, it ain’t happening.