If only the Simpsons had done the right thing and died around 1997 (1998 if you’re greedy) this could have all been alleviated.

I guess we’ll never know, because who watches Fox Sports 1.

In what I think is most memorable role/cameo, he never spoke. He was still in his 30s here, playing opposite Britain’s greatest actor.

Just remember that post-Little Nicky Adam Sandler movies were seen by more than zero people for context.

WB enables a serial sexual harasser like Pepe Le Pew for decades and then cracks down on a showrunner, it makes no sense.

“After trying to get quick fixes to regrow hair that waves, you get that vengeance in your heart and you say ‘fuck it, let’s go bald.’”

If you want to make their tiny brains seize up, tell them that not using Keurig is great for the environment because of the billions of those shitty little (recyclable, but non-reusable and non-compostable) plastic cups that are unnecessarily manufactured.

The gun shop owner is right to be wary about how the guns will be used or re-sold, I’ll never forget that time 50 years ago that we were invaded by armed Wakandan Special Forces.

I am seriously disappointed in his losing his lead to the Democratic candidate, if anything his lead should increase because a history of statutory rape pisses off libs and therefore commends him to the idiot base.

The microorganisms in Chipotle products is actually one of the ways the Earth is trying to get rid of us, we should let nature take its course with Chipotle customers.

Can’t wait until the VHS retrospective for the 2017 Colts comes out: Pills n’ Thrills n’ Headaches

Every announcement is major now that the character limit has been doubled.

STOP PISSING IN THE CORNER

I am no longer using my position as Hollywood producer to sexually assault women, in fact I’m so committed to this paradigm I decided to not become a Hollywood producer to begin with.

Deadspin: Sports Coverage Without Covering Sports

Ted Danson! NOOOOOOOOO

Clarence Gilyard, Jr. broke all kinds of rules, including being the nerdy computer-based safecracker in Die Hard. The quarterback WAS toast.

Love may be the seventh wave but PAIN is the eighth.

The bad news is that with our traffic they won’t actually get here until 2021.

Well, like facts matter to those worthless dead-enders anyway, those fascist pricks would probably shout down a 90-year-old WWII vet.