WINNER! WINNER! THIS STORY IS THE WINNER!

I forgot: here's a picture of the little bastard. I'm about a foot away, on the other side of the glass front door. Look at his evil little eyes!

This isn't insane, but it gave me quite the reputation. I used to work coordinating a public health coalition. We did a lot of work with local politicians. One of the things that we would do is go on "Neighborhood Walks" which was largely asshole politicians walking through poor neighborhoods writing people up for…

So two years ago I was locked in an epic struggle with a chipmunk who made his home in my front flowerbed (I use that term loosely as my tiny tiny townhouse supports an even tinier yard). His second favorite thing to do was dig tunnels throughout the flowerbed and rip shit up. His favorite thing to do was fuck with…

are you a puppy?

Please note from the outset of this story that my family LOVES squirrels. I even had one as a pet as a kid, but that's another story.

This story is only 'insane' because it features so many random freeway drivers who actually gave a crap about saving a dog. I was on highway 80 south in Oakland and suddenly in front of me, the cars had slowed way down and the highway ahead was practically empty. A few cars were slowly passing by on the right most…

this one time, i adopted a dog, and he was so fucking cute that i basically lost my mind. i don't really want it back, either. i'll keep the dog.

OMG! I used to embroider blankets at a mall and there was one machine we called Lucifer. It punctured everyone at least once. I swear it acquired a taste for blood. But yeah she is full of it.

Back when I was wedding planning, I never talked about our wedding on Facebook. That's how you avoid unpleasant conversations with people you don't want to invite. You just never talk about your wedding around them.

I don't. I find most brides to be quite reasonable. Brides actually get unfairly dumped on a lot in the wedding planning process. The bride in this article, however, sounds like a peach.

"Ladies don't fit into the story!"

YES THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING. JEZEBEL ANITA SARKEESIAN RAAAR

Representation in media is one of those things that only seems unimportant to people who've always had it.

Whenever I hear other guys make the argument that female gamers "make too big of a deal" about representation because of all the steps forward we've made (Prototype 2, Gone Home, Portal, Mirror's Edge, Persona 4, basically the whole indie circuit) I like to use the analogy of music.

You think about playing games where your husband is too dumb to figure out a sandwich? Weirdo.

"fuck the less progressive audience". Indeed. Oh, INDEED.

In fairness, the video game industry has made an awful lot of strides in representing the often overlooked demographic of turtle hating Italian plumbers.