Cases like this cause a deep internal conflict in me, where my philosophical opposition to the death penalty clashes with my innate desire to throw this fucker off a high cliff.

"What is this Google you speak of...? Some sort of Z list search engine?!?"

Taint necessarily so.

There are literally hundreds of establishments across this country that has servers that "show skin". This guy picks one that doesn't and then implores the owner to change the uniforms so he can have a side of nipples with his nachos. I can safely say this guy lives in the real estate between Scrotumsville and…

this list needs more Keith Mars, one of the best dads on TV

Domestic violence-fighting Space Dad!

I swear to dog I scrolled down through this whole list just looking to see where Patrick Stewart would be and my heart actually started to pound at about 10 at the idea that you guys had left him out. I am so sorry for my doubt, however short-lived.

I read her name as "Poopy" at first. Now I kinda wish it was Poopy.

I think we could all use a hedgehog in an egg cup.

DON'T FORGET TO SPELL "SORRY" WITH AN EXTRA U. THAT IS HOW WE ROLL IN BRITISH CANADA.

Who gives a shit? It worked!

This one is also good.

I contend she was making cakes during the limo ride.

Seen on Tumblr this morning:

I fucking hate people who try to get books banned. It's so...there isn't a word to describe how bad it is. Unless we're talking about a scientific piece of literature that has been debunked, (bell curve) there is nothing that can possibly justify banning a piece of literature. This country's love affair with…

Damn. Clicked in the hopes of a PR mess a la Black Milk's weekend fiasco (oh, that was fun). Instead, it's whiny consumers and failed websites. I should...go back to work.

I can spot a fake laugh, and I can tell when a woman is faking an orgasm. But, is it sincere when a woman laughs at my sexual performance?

...or does he?