Well, the completely open and self-selected Rotten Tomato Audience Scores are very negative. And if you know literally nothing about selection bias, that sounds like proof that most people hate it!

if you didn’t like it you are a sexist CHUD who deserves to rot in your parents’ basement for all eternity

I’m okay with bloggers, or anyone, liking TLJ. It’s the continued arrogance that their opinion is right and anyone that thought it was bad it wrong that really grates on me.

Sadly, HR was the second department Palpatine cut when he became emperor, right after OSHA.

I mean, we never “needed” Palps back. After all, he was dead too. It would have been easier just to bring Snoke back:

Snoke wasn’t really anything, though. He was just JJ’s laziness by creating an Emperor like character, but that’s as far as the planning went. Kylo taking out Snoke set Kylo up to be the big bad. It heightened the stakes. We wouldn’t have gotten most of this if JJ Abrams was a decent storyteller capable of creating…

I’d go even further and say the setup was, “I just made him an UN-REDEEMABLE bad guy, go make a third movie that isn’t Return of the Jedi.”

But the problem with Snoke was that he was just a lazy retread of Palpatine to begin with. I think the sequel Johnson was trying to set up was one in which Ren himself is the big bad and Rey has to attempt to redeem him or contend with his final descent into darkness.

Look, I know nobody likes thinking about the awkward Anakin/Padmé scenes Episodes II and III gave us, but they were clearly going at it pretty regularly.

Thank you for making me spray some diet soda into my keyboard.  It wasn’t feeling sticky enough.

Lucas conceived of the whole universe as “for children” from the start, so anything below the belt (except getting cut in half by a lightsaber) has always been by implication.

Seeing as to how the dark side of the force was supposed to be all about giving in to your desires and wants, I figured the implication was that between bouts of gleeful cackling Palapatine would be swinging his dick into everything and anything with the kind of evil vigor that would make George R.R. Martin blush.

Wanting to hook up with Adam Driver? Perfectly understandable. Wanting to hook up with Patricidal Young Space Hitler? No, just no.

Was there tongue involved?

“Meesa need to talk to HR!”

I keep talking to people saying they were happy about the kiss and my brain cannot comprehend how on earth they arrived at that conclusion.

Did all of Kylo and Rey’s interactions in the previous movies read as sexual tension? Do people consider the possibility of incest a defining factor of Star Wars? Did people see…

And the lab tech was a gungan. 

He may not have had sex, but the next novelisation will reveal that his scientists did need some genetic material for the clone, so Sheev jerked off into a cup for them, maintaining unblinking eye contact with the lab tech the whole time.

Actually that technically makes Sheev both Rey’s father and her Grandfather by way of Frankenstein’s Law.

I’m more mad about the kiss thing. You can’t watch that and say: “Yeah, that was sure some platonic kissing there.”