Sweet! I'm the Jose Canseco of commenters. Used to be in good shape, my wife has an inexplicable crush on me, and my public comments are often nonsensical.

I hit my 1000th without noticing a few weeks ago and felt like the schlub who forgets his own birthday.

The Native Americans call it "maize."

Yeah, we have discussed that possibility, too.

Before I met my wife, I dated a girl with a three-year-old. Super adorable kid. But one of the first times I stayed over at this girl's condo, her daughter came into the bedroom in the morning and asked me, like straight out of a rom-com, "What are you doing in my mommy's bed?" Straight dose of reality, dude.

Thanks. He was my wife's cousin, so I'm mostly asking on her behalf. She's doing much better than she was a few weeks ago, but I think your advice is good and I think we should leave well enough alone and reassess in six months or a year or something.

There was a separate memorial for his theater friends, but we weren't able to attend, unfortunately (it was also out-of-state, in a different state than the family memorial). Thanks, though.

Open Question to the Savage Love Clubbers:

I think it's a different kind of implication.

"I heard it doesn't eeeeven hurt thaaat baaaaaaad…"

*POURS OUT MALT LIQUOR*

Well, I guess this is better than Bill Cosby inserting himself into this discussion.

Goddamnit, Bill.

Upvoted for 30-rock-esque description of Eli.

The A.V. Club
like all rituals that make no sense, we take this one extra seriously

Yeah, that's it! I've only been once, so maybe I shouldn't be so judgmental. We were also there with a big group, late at night, so I kind of get why things weren't running terribly smoothly.

Random question. Do you work for TFA?

Lombardi's was great. It was one of my go-to first date and family-in-town restaurants, and I lived like five blocks away at the time. I was living in DC when they closed and didn't find out until I came back to visit the neighborhood.

"Manage your people. Wear better clothes." /gravel voice

Upvoted mostly for the phrase "30 Rock quote orgies"