I'm sorry to say I didn't know either of these songs, but my wife was singing along adorably with Reba's hook. She's my 90s pop country trivia ringer.

I sent this article to my wife and she thought it was satire.

Ooohh, yeah. He would be really good as Glen. Not sure if I agree about Oldman, though. He doesn't hit the "superficial handsomeness" note quite well enough.

Scrawler, don't look at it. Shut your eyes, Scrawler. Don't look at it, no matter what happens!

Makes me think that New Hampshire should consider putting a question mark at the end of the state motto.

I had to look that up, because I thought I'd had it done at barber shops in the Middle East. They just stick a long match or something in your ear to burn off excess hair/etc., which almost motivated me to choke-slam the guy the first time it happened. But my dear Lord, ear candling is much, much different, and much,…

We no can dunk, but good fundamentals. That more fun to watch.

Yeah, the description always struck me as showing that he was this superficially handsome and charming guy, but that he gave off this vibe of being a sentient wax-figure. Like people could sense he wasn't quite human. Someone suggested Terry O'Quinn above; I think he'd be pretty good in the role. Really, there are…

Surely you can't be serious.

This was my favorite King book growing up, and I was always disappointed with the miniseries. I reread the extended version in the summer of 2006 (isn't summer the best time to read The Stand?) and it held up okay. Be that as it may, I've forgotten so much of the detail that I'm cautiously optimistic that a three-hour…

I'm dead inside from a heroine overdose. It's serious business, friend.

And probably too long for non-fans to stay invested. But maybe not.

Then I'm sure you understand the ultimate bane of the ptosis-haver: flash photography after a long day. I always look like I'm winking/half blinking in those.

For you kids following along at home, it's technically called a ptosis.

Totally. And I get what you mean about the garrison-in-theater types. I came back from three weeks out in sector in Tal Afar and tried to go to the chow hall at FOB Sykes and got turned away because I was in PTs. I about burst a fucking blood vessel in my forehead.

Ha. It wasn't quite that bad. More like:

I can sort of relate. I have a droopy eyelid that people sometimes confuse for a lazy eye. Like Cameron, it made me a little shittier at sports than I might otherwise have been and hurt my long-range marksmanship in the Army. My eye doctor once told me that I could get surgery to correct it, and I thought about it…

I was at the 82nd from '04-'06. They were weirdly bipolar about it. In garrison, if you had anything bigger than a Rite in the Rain in your pocket, you were wrong. In the field and deployed, you could carry a dead cat in there and people wouldn't care as long as your weapon was clean. We'd be out on patrol and I'd…

My wife and her sister watched it while I was in the room working on something else. It was fine, but if you don't like the genre, you're not missing anything.

Yiiikes. Although I have noticed, while fucking off on Google Flights, that Oslo is one of the cheapest airports to fly into from the US. That, in itself, is tempting. Maybe I'll visit and… just.. not… drink…?