Yeah, these dudes really fucking piss me off. I used to carry off-duty when I was in law enforcement, and all these weirdos who think they are going to John Wayne their way into stopping an active shooter scare the bejesus out of me. They're just as likely to hurt a bystander, be shot by responding law enforcement, or…

The unhinged veteran. It's almost always two-dimensional, lazy writing, whether it's played for laughs or for emotional manipulation or for some cheap political point. The vast majority of my combat veteran friends have readjusted well to civilian life, and those who haven't are not cardboard cutouts of recycled…

In all honesty, though, I have seen lots of balls.

No! Unintentional double-entendre! Unintentional!

She was also pretty good in whatever that movie was called with Adam Sandler.

Project Bravo was an unexpected success with Jennifer Lawrence, though.

Bacterial. Duh.

I've actually seen a bunch of them (a girl I dated before I met Mrs. Balls insisted on showing them to me) but I think I was in a fugue state, because I couldn't describe it any better than you did above.

"Put the mimosas down! Bitch!"

I got the rental tuxes for my wedding there, too, and considering my groomsmen were in four different cities, they did a decent job. I seem to remember there being a minor clusterfuck when we picked them up, and one of the guys, who is 5'6" or so, ended up with pants with something like a 38" inseam and we didn't…

Ha, yeah — I registered a couple of years ago, so maybe my good fortune will run out if I try to re-up.

I've been out of school for about a year, but my alumni account has a .edu and Amazon doesn't seem to care.

THAT IS ADORABLE.

You should be proud. They're For the Troops.

That is so ignorant. Do you even know any Drone1.1s? I suppose you think they also "choose" to be with other Drone1.1s.

Not until your friend wears it at her wedding reception. Horse mask + wedding dress + that Black Eyed Peas song = Kubrickesque fever dream.

Or: Don't get sick! And if you do, pass the costs on to the rest of us, anyway!

My wife's is super cheap (and very good), but adding me to the plan would've cost about $700 a month. I am not kidding.

You have to get them by the dozen. That's when you really start seeing the savings.

Absolutely. I live in Washington State and they seemed to take seriously making an easy-ish to navigate website and care about getting people insured. When you're actively trying to undermine the process, doesn't work so well.