I just enrolled in Washington State over the weekend and it was sort of expensive, but our family income was high enough so that we didn't qualify for a subsidy. It was still $400-ish lower than getting spousal coverage through Mrs. Balls' work health plan.

You know, that's fine. It was my bad to get into this kind of discussion on the internet. I know better. And the fact of the matter is that I almost never talk about my religious beliefs, except with people at my church, so there's a good chance that if you and I met in real life that we'd be friends long before you…

I meant in the vein of socially painful faux pas, but sure.

John C. Reilly delivers those lines so fucking perfectly. I can't not imagine that comment in his voice.

"Get out of here, Dewey Cox! You don't want any part of this shit!"

I was going through a devastating breakup when I first saw it, too, and my story wasn't too different from Peter Bretter's. It was tough to watch at times but at least helped me laugh when I was as depressed as I've ever been in my life.

You pretty much just described law school.

Mrs. Balls is the Larry David in our relationship. She regularly comes home from work/social functions with stories like, "I was on the elevator with a coworker and a friend from another firm, and when I went to introduce the coworker, I couldn't remember her name, and just sort of froze." That is a true story, and…

Yeah, that's a good point. I remember Mrs. Balls trying to explode my head with delta brain waves when I (not antagonistically) questioned some of the musical choices for our wedding church service. I felt like John Locke at the end of season two of Lost: "I was wrong."

Was that in DC? I think there's something in the sometimes-unsafe-to-drink water that makes people really defensive about weddings. I've known some very down-to-earth people who suddenly became strangely competitive about and protective of their wedding planning, and I kind of correlated that with living in the…

I'm surprised they haven't announced a development deal for God Cop yet.

Yikes.

Oh, is it confession time, Sister? Jessica M., I still haven't gotten over you throwing that rock at me and breaking my tooth in half in third grade, mostly because I had a big crush on you. Mrs. Balls says you probably had a crush on me, too, so all is forgiven! The tooth is capped now, so all is well.

Hey, I hear they're in exciting talks to produce exclusive content for America's jails.

From that day forward, Anxie vowed to make the world know her pain. Her trail of woe stretched from the County Clerk's office — where she filled out a form not in triplicate, but quadruplicate — to the Des Moines Planet Fitness, where she coldly ignored the pleas of the courtesy signs to wipe down the machines after…

My little sister lives in Milwaukee! She's fucking miserable, mostly on account of the winters (despite getting her Master's in Boston).

Late to the discussion, but here goes:

A friend of Mrs. Balls and mine had him for Constitutional Law at UChicago. Maybe we'll ask him about that.

Ugh, this reminds me of a a discussion I had with three Republican friends over dinner back in 2003. I had signed up for the Army infantry but hadn't left for basic training yet. We got to talking about the Iraq war and I explained in a reasonable tone of voice why I thought it was a policy blunder, including the fact…

You'll need some Hawthorne wipes to take care of that.