I am, unfortunately (until this year), a Seattle sports fan, where we've lost the Sonics and even our local sports anchors barely cover the Mariners earnestly. I remember seeing several years ago one of our local sports guys being visibly exasperated when covering a particularly terrible Mariners game.

It's the dead tooth.

They used to play this song during warm-ups before basketball games when I was in high school. If someone posts some lyrics from "Bow Down," I'm terrified that I'll suddenly be wearing relaxed-fit jeans and be incapable of having a conversation with my wife.

It's "bated breath," and I fucking hate myself.

And then you danced, danced, danced, until you forgot yourself, forgot your every worry, gazing deeply into the eyes of an uncomfortable man in a police uniform.

I prefer the radio-scrubbed version of 50's "In Da Club" to the studio version.

"Raheem is a really nice guy. And he’s always helping! He rewired the toaster oven, and he showed me a back way to the airport."

I'm probably just saying this because I'm drunk, but you sound like a lot of fun.

I saw it on a seemingly-interminable overseas flight, which seemed appropriate.

Kenny G? And I learn this on Kurt Cobain's birthday? SHUT IT DOWN.

Did you know that if you’re a pilot, that Bagram Airfield Subway will seat you right away even if the pilot’s dinner companion has just been yelling at the KBR contract employee?

That's not even enough numbers!

I hope I get downvoted!

Oh, damn, perfect example. I watched the trailer for that and, while some it looked funny, said NOPE out loud. Seth MacFarlane has really been overdoing that shit the last few years. That's one of the main reasons I haven't watched Family Guy since like 2008.

I haven't seen this, but really hate a lot of gross-out humor, especially blood/gore-related. I'm a combat vet and that stuff just doesn't seem to tickle my funny bone anymore, if it ever did. Is it worth watching?

I lol'd, sir. Thank you.

*Halfheartedly pats overalls*

Speaking of Ellie Kemper, she is one of my Mrs. Balls-Authorized Celebrity Crushes.

Ha. My wife and I did, too. And @avclub-98ee3569ee1cc83f32587edbfb0b857a:disqus, yes, it's technically about falling in love with one person while being in relationship/something with another person. My wife and I really liked the refrain because we decided to date when, against better judgment, I was barely out of a…

Challengers is my favorite NP album, but that might be because it was the first NP album I ever heard. The album was also a gift from a girl whom I later tricked into marrying me. We danced to the title track for our first dance at our wedding. Plus, the album was exactly the kind of music I needed at the time she got…