I enjoyed it overall. Had I been in the target audience, I’d have absolutely loved this thing. They could have turned the actual horror up a couple of notches, though... it’s not entirely bloodless, but it is surprisingly toothless. Still, it’s a good brain-turn-offy time.

“So we’ve chosen a more appropriate act: Mini KISS!”

I really enjoyed it, although it was a bit overstuffed and inconsistent. I hope this doesn’t deter him from doing something like it (whatever “like it” even is in this case) again.

The Universal monsters were at their best in the late 80s/early 90s when they were advertising various snacks and beverages.

Agreed. I have very little love for Disney outside of baseline nostalgia, but I went to WDW a few years ago and immediately became a kid again. It’s legitimately an amazing experience. 

Now there’s a headline I wasn’t expecting to ever see.

He’s been pretty permanently unavailable for the past nine years, yeah. 

Why would he be fired? Nothing drives engagement like people getting furious that someone likes a franchise in a slightly different order than they do. Listicles rely on people being unable to handle opinions.

Damn, I wish this were still classic AVC. This article would have been an all-timer with quotes like those. 

Fuck off, Chevy, you were in Nothing But Trouble. 

If the next one is a shot-for-shot remake of Repossessed, they might just right this ship yet. 

“So, hear me out... what if we add talking bees to the finale episode?”

This is far from a AAA game, but your point stands. I liked the demo a lot, but it’s definitely not reinventing any wheels. 

I’m listening to the album right now out of sick curiosity (I’ve never heard so much as a track from him all the way through), and holy fuck, I’m bored out of my skull. It really is awful, and not even “fun” awful, just sleepy and painfully corny. It’s musical slurry. 

I just want to know what the subtitle will be/would have been for the third one. Believer, Deceiver... Dreamweaver? Da Bieber? Legacy Of Kain: Soul Reaver? 

Yeah, I’d say Beau is horror in the sense that there’s a relatable terror if you struggle with bad anxiety (and especially if, like me, you went in mostly blind but familiar with Aster’s actual horror movies) but even that fades away extremely quickly.

Fine, I’ll write it, yeesh. Gotta do everything around here...

It’s only possible to think about tennis, dodgeball, bocce, and cricket with Taylor Swift around. Science has been baffled by this phenomenon for decades. 

Hanks, but no Hanks. 

I’ve heard of protesting phrenology at a Steely Dan concert, but protesting circumcision at a Pink concert? Now I’ve heard everything!