Couldn’t have started off better.

The return of a proper AV Club is giving me a proper AV Chub.

And Richard Simmons as well... what a shit weekend. RIP. 

I literally cannot read or hear his name without this sketch playing out in its entirety in my head right afterwards.

She’s a pop star, so there’s automatically a bunch of folks who are beyond furious about that fact. 

Damn... RIP.

They could save some money by switching to Top Ramen for the soul. 

Now that’s interesting! I can see that being the case, now that you mention it. It’s a very breezy watch despite its deliberate pacing, and those old slasher go-tos still play wonderfully to this day.

Yeah, it wasn’t bad, just not what I expected from the reviews. (the logsplitter scene was fucking fantastic, though)

I mean, a person just going “Buuuuuuuuhhhhhh...” while staring at the camera for 90 minutes would be funnier than Garfield. 

I’m excited for this one. I was pretty disappointed with In A Violent Nature and I’m hungry for something truly creepy. 

“Vulva Valley” might work, but it’d need some rewrites.

So, no Mighty Max movie either, then? Maybe they’re better suited to a... mini series.

“ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED...” *looks at camera and smirks* “... AGAIN!?”

Damn, they didn’t use my “Oh God! You Devil Wears Prada” idea, despite my strong language and threats. 

Spike Lee angrily tweets out Tyler Perry impersonator’s home address

Ehh, wouldn’t the weirdest goddamn thing be for him to two-step down the street with a Frasier branded coffee mug glued to his left nipple as he chants “HUP! HUP! HUP!”?

The title gives me the same viscerally negative reaction that InAPPropriate Comedy does. 

Sorry, Hootie, but I’m not gonna love him the best that, the best that I can. 

I gave up on the show before that episode (not even the show’s fault, I was just beyond my fill of “man is the real monster” zombie stories. Speaking of over-egged omelets...), but I did see the scene, and yeah, I get why folks hated it. Effects-wise it was fantastic, absolutely nauseating and disturbing, but very…