As a fun slasher film, I enjoyed the hell out of this just like with 2018, and I’m excited to see where Ends takes things. As a weightier film, it really does fail on all fronts. And that’s fine, slashers don’t need to have weight, but they try so hard to elevate it to that point while still making a crazy splatter…

Heh, that made me think about all of the guides for “netiquette”. Ah, how high our hopes were. 

I presume, of course, that the circle scenes will have burnt spoons everywhere instead of a haze of smoke.

I enjoyed it, but yeah, it was *not* what I expected or wanted from the supposed final word on the franchise.

One of my favorite bits in Scarlet Gospels was Pinhead’s distaste for that name. You could feel Barker seething through it all. 

As much as I adore that movie, I’m still exhausted from the “everything in existence, but now with zombies!” trend that, fittingly, still hasn’t fully stopped twitching long after it should have died. Even if SOTD was ripe for a sequel, I wouldn’t want it at this point.  

How insane is it that Nintendo’s putting out a Genesis controller? It’s one of those things that I’d love to time travel back to the 90s and show to past me. 

Oh for fucking out loud, they think the hanging guy is now too much? I always feel like people who clutch pearls about stuff like that have absolutely no concept of what depression is. It’s not like we go about our days constantly dodging anything vaguely dark lest we shoot ourselves on the spot or some such. Quite…

I also keep thinking of Hades while playing this. That same sense of things unfolding with each loop, and characters you love and love to hate. I feel like this is one of those games I’ll be thinking about long after I finish it. 

Glad I saw this, definitely going to read through those. These columns, like others have said, are one of the last threads tying current AV Club to what it used to be. 

I just want to know how teens can handle Juuls in the first place. I’ve been a smoker for 20 years (I *am* trying like hell to quit), and I recently tried a Juul for the first time. That fucker kicked me in the lungs harder than any vape or smoke I’ve ever had, cannabis included.

I really want a version of Halloween where, every time he appears, he yells “Hey, look, I’m Michael Myers!”. I’d also accept “Ay, I’m stalkin’ here!”. 

“...mocking Carlson for jumping eagerly on these imaginary testicles...”

The mountains will turn out to be siblings as well, as part of an attempt to expand the plot in such a way as to start a Twinimatic Universe.

Dead By Daylight on PS4 used to do this, the splash/sign-in screen was uncapped and the fans would go batshit. I know it’s safe as long as you don’t just sit on those screens forever, but it’s absolutely alarming. Especially with a shiny new PS5, although I haven’t had any PS5 game make the fans scream yet. 

Naming it Gex: Enter The Gecko or Madden ‘96 is highly encouraged, though.

The double QP with cheese might be their best burger overall. How the Big Mac gets all the love when the DQPWC is *right there* baffles me. 

So much better a sequel than I Am Sam Part Deux.

This is all leading to Steve Harvey hosting, isn’t it?

“This part of the male anatomy is used for reproduction.”

“What is the penis?”

*shocked stare into camera*

Right, it’s not ideal (is any big business ideal?), but dollar stores have saved my ass many a time when money was particularly tight.