Glad to see some defense for Dark Shadows! Yeah, it’s bad, but it’s fun. And like you said, despite all the late-era crap Burton has churned out, he hasn’t lost everything that made him great. I mourn the days of classic Burton as much as anyone, but really, the only movie he’s done that I simply can’t stand is Alice…

Oh god yes. I always liked KoQ just for being a functional mindless sitcom in the old style to have on in the background, but whenever Jerry showed up, it elevated everything. Throw Patton in, and it might be one of the best worst sitcoms.

As far as Ryan Murphy goes, I think this idea sort of makes sense. The average AHS season is a clusterfuck of insanity and nonsense by the end (which I love, admittedly). Doing a version of the show like this should hopefully lead to tighter, more coherent stories.

I wish him the best, I really do. This timeline is just insane enough for “Blink 182's Tom DeLonge Discovers Incontrovertible Proof Of Aliens, Seriously, He’s Got One At His House Right Now” to be a headline I could see existing.

On the one hand, get ‘im, Axl, as much as it pains me to side with you.

And for god’s sake, keep him away from the Sonic fandom!

Hmm... it would be excellent to have “Was in a Bill & Ted movie” in my list of nerd cred, but it might be immoral to risk subjecting large amounts of people to my dancing. 

I’ve said it before, but: Holy fuck. I love her creative output, but I don’t think I could stomach five minutes around her. Much like Elon, I guess. I mean, I’m a weird guy, I get the appeal in acting like they do, but sometimes it’s good to turn it off for a bit. Like, when naming your newborn child, for instance. 

Moe Land, the long abandoned Moe Szyslak theme park in Poland.

Ugh, yeah. Every time I hear her name, I just immediately think of “You’ll be paid in exposure!”, which has to be the most infuriating sentence ever.

Hooold up. Any world where Puppet Master 37: Umm, Maybe The Puppets Are Big This Time? isn’t a major release is a world that I want no part of. 

C’mon, that’s clearly Mr. Plow in Krusty makeup. 

Trapt’s whole “What if a particularly grimy fedora gained sentience, escaped from a closet filled with ‘gently used’ anime body pillows, and learned how to tweet” thing lately has been an endless source of entertainment. I like to imagine that he himself suddenly remembered that he’s the guy from Trapt, and this is…

311 are just so damn earnest and harmless that, although I make fun of them and never actively listen to them, I can’t dislike them. Besides, Down is a banger no matter what anyone says.

I really dislike the “Oops, All Angles!” faux-anime art style in so much post-90s animation, but I’m just happy that this apparently turned out decent. I’ve been an MK fan since the beginning, and I always lamented the lack of a good adaptation given how fun and interesting the MK universe is. (nothing against the…

Yeeeah... I’m more likely to take Dr. Dre’s medical advice than Dr. Phil’s. 

I got crazy excited when I saw that this had dropped. I’m still waiting to listen to it, the reviews make it sound like a pretty heavy experience and I want to dive in with the right mindset (something I don’t really have today), but it sounds like all of the experimental aspects I loved in Idler Wheel got turned up…

“The Obnoxious 33 Page Listicle To Maximize Clicks And Further Bury The Once-Thriving Community” is also really good once it gets going. Might fall under “horror comedy” more than “drama”, though. 

I’ll give him this much: “What I hear on the radio is the whole of music, and absolutely nothing exists outside of that” is a take that I’ve heard from people of all ages and walks of life.

I’m sure the 2039 revival will be a big hit!