She originally tried to get Jimmy Ray, but every time she attempted to confirm his identity, he’d just go “Who wants to know!?”. 

Floridog.

I feel like a narrator’s going to tell me about the far-flung future of 199X when I look at that thing. 

If anything, the GOP will try to pull a Weekend At Bernie’s. And at this point, I have a feeling it would totally work. 

Oh goddammit. I loved this movie far more than I was expecting, but it re-he-he-he-HEALLY doesn’t need a sequel. It certainly doesn’t need a damn cinematic universe. 

“We must all do our part. Destroy as much meth as you can in a series of small fires. Be sure to breathe in the fumes, for one must truly keep the enemy close to defeat it.”

Oh man, that’s just the tip of the iceberg, haha. Urkel becomes Bruce Lee at one point, there are many episodes involving a Transformation Chamber... I can’t lie, I have a major soft spot for Family Matters and think it’s legitimately funny by family sitcom standards, but it’s also the prime example of what happens…

Hold up now, Family Matters at least had the distinction of being utterly batshit insane! To paraphrase Key & Peele, they turned a blue-collar Cosby Show into Quantum Leap. To this day, I’m still amazed by that. 

I don’t buy it. It’s a slow-burn movie that’s 90% dialogue, and the primary character is poor. There’s no way in hell Trump sat through that, and if he did, he was complaining or looking at his phone the whole time. 

Hillenburg: “I insist, no spinoffs of SpongeBob.”

I hope so. The first movie was fantastic, but it also signaled the end of “classic SpongeBob”. When I finally caught the latter half of Sponge Out Of Water on TV at some point, I was shocked that it was actually funny in the way that the show used to be. (still hate the CG, though)

I mean, at least it’s Significant Other, which was as close as Limp Bizkit got to being listenable. (not that it was anywhere near good, just that it had a couple of tracks that don’t make me want to firebomb my memories of 1999-2000)

I’ve always had a fascination with Parroty Interactive. They had such a slim window in which products like theirs could exist, and they really managed to squeeze in there and suck the laughs out of countless rooms. It’s sort of admirable in its awfulness. 

Fantastic Three-sts: The Parking Violations Of Grindelwald

Right, the hot sauce is almost beside the point. (although not always... DJ Khaled’s shitshow was a highlight of the series, and not at all because of the actual interview)

I was joking, not making any sort of point. Just ‘aving a giggle.

*CTRL+F* “dance party”: 0/0

Right? “Al Pacino”? Come on, that’s not even a realistic name. 

“postmodern Planes, Trains and Automobiles”

Mmmmmmnope. Can’t lie, as much as I hate Christmas music, I don’t mind this song. Mariah’s voice beats the corniness of the lyrics. But it is NOT Christmas season yet. No no no no no. Hell, it’s not even Thanksgiving season yet. It’s post-Halloween until Monday, then a short break from any damn season but generic fall.…