Just because Cara Delevingne’s eyebrows cast a shadow over her face doesn’t mean it’s shade.

‘Ouzounian’. Is that a last name or a nationality?

I was going to write my Master’s Thesis, which is due next week, but I guess I’ll just contemplate all of this instead.

I haven’t had sex for six ½ years, so I think it’s safe to say that’s a yes.

I’ve never thought a lot about it, but I always just assumed that Coco would be physically incapable of becoming pregnant. But uh... good for them!?

Is this haircolour intentional?

No! Really?

Long nipples? How... Why... Where... In... What!?

J.K. Rowling is my patronus.

I once asked my dad to help me straighten the hair on the back of my head with a straightener. It was the first and last time I asked my dad for help with my hair. It didn’t look bad, but I’m still baffled by the amount of instructions/explanations/encouragement he needed! (Of course, this is a man who has had the…

Yeah. No one will notice that it’s a cat, and not Clive Owen.

A friend of mine recently learned that I was an only child and he was absolutely astonished, like, disproportionally so, because I didn’t act ‘spoiled’ or anything like that.

I’m not okay with this. But I am especially not okay with naming a skinny-girl-exclusive-brand CUPCAKES (and Cashmere). It’s wrong. It’s so wrong I can’t even explain why or how wrong it is. I’m very much not okay with that.

Plain old Mr. Coffee, I’m afraid. It was white, square, and had a glass pot, almost filled with coffee. I only saw a glimpse of it, many years ago, but it is etched in my mind.

I once met a man with a coffee machine tattooed on his ass, complete with plug and everything. I don’t really have any relevant closing remarks, I just wanted to put that out there.

Okay, ‘freaking out’ might be overstating things, and they are far from upset! Denmark is a small country with about 5.6 mio. people, and everyone gets very, very excited when a Danish person does something outside of Denmark. You should have seen the coverage when a Danish model married a Canadian actor who had a…

The Danish media is freaking out about Mads Mikkelsen being in the video. And the boobs. They are also freaking out about the naked boobs.

When I was a child, we used to joke that my dad was a gorilla. He had a gorilla figure on his landline and a sign on his door with a picture of a gorilla. Funny stories were told about the time when I was four and we went to the zoo, and I yelled for my dad while looking at the gorilla enclosure.

Everyone take a deep breath, and stop hating on this poor man! Obviously, Goldie Hawn is evil (I never liked her anyway), and is PHYSICALLY PREVENTLY her ADULT children from having a relationship with their biological father.

Speaking as someone who lives in a country with limited McDonald’s options, (no McRib, only recently breakfast (pancakes, three kinds of Egg McMuffin), no apple-pie, only three flavours of milkshake... oh dear lord, it was a mistake to visit McDonald’s American website... Cinnamon Melts? Oreo Frappé? What are these…