“...but whatever it is, he’s into guys.”

I’ve been following this weekly tabloid round-up for a little while now, and I really, truly, genuinely would like to know, if someone could tell me, WHERE THEY ARE GETTING THIS INFORMATION FROM? Like, how do they know that Kim K is 3 months pregnant with a boy? (Sidenote, I’ve concluded that, as a woman, you’re not a…

I’m 27, and I want to be her when I grow up.

I’m generally a pretty cynical individual, and it takes a lot to tear up, but dammit, I could really use one of those Japanese hotel crying-rooms right now.

I would, if I wasn’t so weirded out by his shiny mask.

Bruce Jenner is gonna marry a woman named Ronda Kamihira.

Yesterday I saw a picture of Gamal (that’s their relationship-name I made up all by myself) looking super happy and in love at the Met gala. And now this? This marriage is such a rollercoaster!

I’m the ‘Let’s all get along and not hate each other’-type, but I really dislike the fact that he exists, and I wish he would at the very least just stop being such a piece of URGH NO!

That’s the nicest way I can put it.

Looks like he’s trying to break dance on the stairs.

Scary Spice wasn’t there? Then it doesn’t count. The only Spice Girl who is allowed to not show up to a Spice Girls reunion is Ginger, for reasons I still discuss weekly with my therapist.

Someone needs to lay off Photoshop. Or at least learn how to use it.

Did her hand fall on a Hibachi-grill?

This one would.

You know, as a ‘non-American’, you hear stories from America that sometimes make you go ‘Huh?’ or ‘Awesome’ or ‘No. Just no.’ (in your native language, obviously).

That almost makes me want to have children!

This reminds me of Bane, from Batman. The nipples are eyes, obvi.
(Full disclosure, have never seen Batman movie. Just trying to sound cool.)

“Yeah, I brought a knife to a fistfight! You got a problem with that? Officer?”