Well, in this case it can't be two things (for a change…).

This comes from a nation featuring Donald Trump as one of its two presidential choices? Really hard to fathom…

"Peter, you're in deep shit. You were supposed to come in on Saturday. What were you doing?"

Clearly.

They should get that girl from Full House to do it.

You are! Oh, yes, you are!!

The DirectTV commercials?

Huh. I heard he was going to duck out halfway through to portray JonBenet Ramsey in a Lifetime movie.

But what if it wasn't?

Jesus?

"Best movie I've ever seen!"
- Abe Froman (Chicago, IL)

Smashing Pumpkins – “Muzzle”
Matthew Sweet – “Sick of Myself”
2Pac – “Changes”
Led Zeppelin – “Over the Hills and Far Away”
The Gufs – “Surrounded”
Tool – “Parabola” (no “Parabol,” though)
Nirvana – “Stay Away”
James Brown – “Living in America”
Ice Cube – “It Was a Good Day”
Radiohead – “Black Star”
Atmosphere – “Smart Went…

If only she was a mom as well…

"Aw, man."
- Andrew W.K. *starts partying harder*

"This is beyond flattery. It borders on some kind of pagan worship." Perhaps it's, uh, stalking?

Frank Stallone's greatest hits.

*throws toast at his computer screen, is swiftly escorted out of office by security*

"America never had a flood before Barack Obama" - Melania Trump

*Mike Myers becomes nervous, looks around for Kanye*

Eh, it was a pretty stupid joke.