I don't know about the rest of America, but I, for one, am quite tired of Senator Joe McCarthy and his crazy shenanigans.

Mine is full of crackers.

I first read that as "a mullet."

What? You think I'm a member of the "billionaire class" who wakes up before 9:30? (Well, at least not until the sweet, sweet YouTube-cat-video dollars start rolling in…)

I'll use some of my newfound YouTube wealth to give that another upvote once the check comes through!

*files trademark for Meow the Jewels, films cat video for YouTube*

Now if I could just find a place to get rid of this over-sized bomb…

It's cool unless you live in North Carolina, I believe.

You'd think humanity would have learned its lesson from all the lives needlessly lost to the preceding cola wars, but humans truly are both the smartest and dumbest of all creatures.

"Nah, we're used to all the screaming by now."
- MothaF_NDixon's neighbors

I only do if I'm at a sports bar and don't have my laptop with me (which is rare).

Well, we wouldn't have to make the basket, we'd go to the store and buy it…oh, you mean "basketball style."

*puts on trench coat, holds boombox above head, plays The Lonely Island's "Motherlover" at Ione Skye's window*

Or jamming to some early 90's Spin Doctors!

She had to shank a rival gang's leader to get the blush and lipstick. (Totally worth it.)

Well, he's probably a goner too. We should start writing his eulogy.

"Donald Trump"-level classiness.

With it being 2016 and all, you might not want to make such claims. You never know when…

I just hope it features an arm-wrestling tournament the protagonist has to win so he can have custody of his son.

I'll, uh, be in my bunk.