Also, a bigger dictionary. (You know, for those of us who didn't know that a "plinth" is the heavy base supporting a statue.)

I can't be the only one out here who would prefer the, um, projects I toil away in my bedroom late at night do not find their ways to the eyes of the 73-year-old Martin Scorsese, right?

You talkin' to me, Internet?

I hope they accidentally book a romantic cruise together in the next one.

Arya: "Phew, I really hate painting!"

Well, he ran out of bubblegum.

That's the spirit!

Done. I'll assume my car is in the mail.

…to be played by Emma Stone! Brilliant!!
- Movie Exec

Do we get an F1 McLaren?

[obligatory Emma Stone joke]

Sexy, sexy math is my favorite kind. When you throw the "monogamous" in there, though, it becomes like a really long trip to the dentist.

So who is Angelina Jolie murdering now? (TL;DR)

At least something good will come from this!

"Hi, I'm Steve. I'm here to fix the air conditioning."

He only read it for the articles.

Martha?

Whiplash 2: J.K. Simmons Beats the Shit out of Miles Teller will not only be the highest-grossing movie of all time, it will also win every Academy award.

Irrefutable proof God is a boob man. (And I didn't even see the movie!)

*Justin Guarini starts muttering angrily to himself, dunks fry basket into hot oil*