Well, that depends on how good the pizza is…

Speak for yourself. I'll, uh, be in my bunk…

'Bout fucking time…

I like that he timed the jizzing. (No way he estimated "24 seconds.")

"They should have returned their library books on time. Fuckin' scofflaws."

That would just confuse the hell out of the Juggalos.

I've heard that, in order to make up for all the racism regarding the Oscars, they will present the award in tasteful blackface.

If I ever file for divorce, I might go straight to her as well.

Stupid Jack Nicholson. Always bringing the dip I was going to bring…

I realize this is a joke, but it's incredibly sad to say that it could totally not be and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised.

- John Lennon

He will forever treasure his "Best Animated Feature Film" Oscar, but not as much as his "Best Sound Editing" Oscar.

His mom?

"Oh, don't start that again! Lance Hunt wears glasses. Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses."

Well, time to end my personal "I'm not attending the Oscars until Tyler Perry wins an Oscar" boycott.

Did Tyler Perry make the list? (I don't have time to watch the video.)

Totally worth taking the time to scroll back up to read the caption I hadn't read in the first place!

The story of Michael Fay??

Who ever knew that Maine was so dangerous?

That and the fact he thinks an "A7X" tattoo is in questionable taste.