Er, uh … the … best damn pet shop god in town!

Thereby proving there is no god, ironically.

If he keeps it up for 4 hours he should see a doctor, just sayin'…

Jim Carrey just wants to make Bruce Almighty 2 so he can get rid of all vaccinations when he has the godlike powers, and I won't be convinced otherwise.

Like yorkie teacup terriers?

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.

Uh, that is almost verbatim my New Year's resolution. I call "plagiarism," Medweasel.

As most fat kids do.

Spambot is now self-upvoting? Wasn't it bad enough that we just lost David Bowie??

Extra open doors, you say? I think I'd be stupid not to do this!

I once had a goat that I thought was Satan. Turns out, I was right. Stupid thing was eating tin cans, all the hay, bricks, Robert Goulet… Then it conned me out of my soul. I mean, how the hell was I supposed to know that a goat saying "I will give you this package of Hostess Cupcakes for your soul." was legit?…

I don't know…I feel like he just started making shit up there at the end.

You know, I don't feel as though they ever sufficiently answered that…
*begins penning screenplay for Spider Pig: The Movie*

According to Anne Hathaway, Ms. Brie is in talks to play Squirrel Girl's grandmother.

I dunno. I just remember Spider Pig.

67 times more interesting?

I think there's a Nobel prize for that.

Only if they do it wrong!

My prediction: All characters will come onto the screen, say hello, and posture for a bit before they suddenly realize they left the stove on or something like that.

Alright, go ahead and pack it in everyone. We have our daily Internet winner right here!