"Stop being a corrupt cop" is always my New Year's resolution. I'm surprisingly good at adhering to it.

"I like hot dogs."
- Michael Bay (while eating hot dogs)

You will probably want to stay far away from the car in The Counselor then…

"I like hot dogs."
- Michael Bay (while eating hot dogs)

Those were sad times. "Most wonderful time of year," my ass!

"C'mon, I know it's around here somewhere. Where the hell did I put it? I can't believe I lost that character development again!"
- Michael Bay (while leaning up against the trunk)

She ate them all, though.

Hey, that's my favorite pickup line to use at the bars! It works…well, not as much as you would expect.

Note to self: Check out the unrated, director's cut of TMNT…

Christmas just came a little late (or early, depending on your perspective) for this guy! Alright!!

There was a car?

When can we start buying the highly-coveted Transmorphers swag?

The sad part is, they actually leaked the Adam Sandler movie that was offensive to Native Americans and thought it was the Tarantino flick.

The theater will get progressively warmer due to humankind's irresponsible and reckless acts. Conservatives will deny this is happening, even though virtually all scientists assure us that it is, in fact, the case.

If it's not too late, it can be added to the "What 11 Thought-Provoking Questions Should We Ask Celebrities This Year?" comment section. Alien Jesus might win AV Club swag!

If anyone is looking for a name for their emo band, you could do worse than "Depression Quadplex."

On a related note, Rib Fest now needs a couple more servers.

Tim Curry. In the Green Room. With the Lead Pipe.

Jai Courtney. Lots of meat on those bones…plus, it'd be like doing the world a solid.

Well, the answer to this is always going to be — yep, you guessed it — Frank Stallone!