Eh, it's a better gig than that cell phone commercial where he was reading teen girl texts.

Spock, because it's logical.

I would totally buy that t-shirt!

Yeah, but that's your answer for everything.

And the NRA.

Well, some people are just not meant for tight slacks…possibly myself included. They would be rather validated in calling me out over it.

Fascists. Next, they'll be banning Pizza Hut attire.

All of the cool ones, at least.

That's my favorite message to convey over the holidays!

#PizzaHutPatronLivesMatter

*goes to Google to find out how to order Pizza Hut hat, gets distracted by images of Pizza Hut cat*

"Ughh, this makes me unreasonably angry. FTFY.

God hates you.

Someone should introduce joyintorah18 to the Donald J. Trump for President website.

Wait, so Area Man wasn't really released after nine years of wrongful employment?

You know more about anchovie anatomy than I do (or ever aspire to).

Wow. Just realized I made a Home Alone reference — and I swear that happens a very small amount of the time (like maybe only once every other day) — on the same day as a GJI about Kevin McCallister. Great Job, Internet? I think not. Great Job, Me!

Happens to me every time I look in the mirror. (Because a skank is usually standing next to me and I can see him in the mirror too.)

Not sure that "apples the size of footballs" would lead to obesity, but I'm not a nutritionist. Or an apple.

It's always Friday somewhere!