libbybells
LibbyBells
libbybells
Sep 22 2015
57

She actually has to have people who aren’t straight-ticket Republicans vote for her, which requires some sense. Read more

Sep 22 2015
201

I’m going to assume that I don’t agree with the Senator about very much, but at least she seems to be a responsible adult, unlike many of her colleagues.

Aug 13 2015
17

Isn’t that where Orange is the New Black is set? Did you basically just describe the season finale?

Aug 13 2015
73

Shit, I imagined a group of prisoners being led slowly blinking out into the wild wild woods of Connecticut* while a prison warden whispers “you’re free”. Imagine my confusion. Read more

Aug 7 2015
145

That scarf has a purpose: it’s the “Elegant silk sash designed by Anne Rothschild”!!! My mom was a L’eggs woman in the 70s/80s. My sister and I would put the plastic egg halves under our shirts and pretend they were boobs. I don't know why I felt the need to tell you that.

Jul 27 2015
75

Maybe when someone has been locked in a basement their whole lives, you shouldn’t be taking Kimmy Schmidt to the sandwich shop first thing.

Jul 27 2015
149

The wife became very alarmed when she saw dolphin on our menu and proceeded to loudly berate me for serving dolphin. I explained several times that the dolphin on our menu was a different creature than the one she was thinking of, even pointing to a large plastic Mahi we had hanging over the bar. Read more

Jun 22 2015
642

I was in a Starbucks yesterday and a gaggle of teenage girls, (I feel like gaggle isn’t right for teenage girls. A flock? A murder? A murder.) a murder of teenage girls came in behind me. As I finished my order, the barista (who was a treasure of a human being and recommended a kick-ass fruit sauce for baked brie) Read more

Jun 22 2015
169

I’m sure Guy Fieri carries a “Guy Fieri Parking” placard with him wherever he goes.

Jun 22 2015
193

I want to kill the family that harassed the host. Hosts are meant to be the punching bags of the servers, not the customers. Read more

Jun 4 2015
36

Then, because the erstwhile employee was apparently attempting to prepare an appetizer sampler of petty crimes... Read more