I’m just here to say the ship in the pic looks totally like a Jedi Starfighter.

The Browns were +5 in takeaways today. Since the Browns returned to the NFL, teams with a turnover margin of +5 or better in a game are 132-4-1. The Browns are responsible for two of those losses and the tie.

Next up: Philadelphia Eagles.

That’s good cousining; that retirement grease will be worth its weight in Whiz someday.

Ryan (the guy from the video) here.

I’d rather ask a sandwich if Rob Riggle is a comedian.

But is the demo like buttah?

Side note: The Eagles just won a Super Bowl (YAY!) but I pray to God that I don’t end up being some sad sack talking about how great their offense was thirty years from now when they haven’t won a Super Bowl since and/or their one Super Bowl appearance in that timespan is an absolute laugher where they get pantsed in…

All I can think of is Maureen Ponderosa. “You ever seen a grown woman take a shit in a sandbox?”

She looks like she’s about to lose to Dayman.

Laughs are cheap, she’s going for gasps

Find a new slant

With the looming demise of the Papa John’s company is this the dawn of the fabled Franchise Wars from Demolition Man?

I wanna get mad about what you said about Lord of the Rings, Drew. But, it’s hot as fuck, the world is collapsing in a big pile of hut shit and you are actually correct: they are turgid.

I don’t think they were going for Demolition Man.  They were going for Web of Lies.   A demolition man themed Taco Bell trailer would have been far more... surreal.   “You have been fined one credit for violation of the decency act.” “He doesn’t know about the three sea shells.” 

Drew, you’ve been had. You posted literally the exact same “Email of the week” as the 5/30/17 FunBag: https://adequateman.deadspin.com/should-nba-games-play-to-a-score-instead-of-a-clock-1795659849