Am British, can confirm. This is almost word for word what should have been said.
Also, sorry.

It’s kind of unfair because any vote that was just a garbled string of letters was automatically counted as a vote for Giannis.

The Chiefs caught a break here. This should give Andy Reid enough time to run their two-minute offense.

Eli, sadly, was not invited

“The car for people who want to be James Bond, but are really just James May.”

I assume Theismann was just in a rush to publish a tweet comparing their respective fates, but I don’t want to make any snap judgments.

Blizzard doesn’t make games -  they make interactive narcotics

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

Those 8 months when Kate Upton was relevant seems like 10 years ago.

Well, this needs a Judge mod, to maintain order.

It’s that look... like when you squeeze out a fart, but maybe shit yourself.

Herr’s Sour Cream And Onion chips OAR I WILL FIGHT YOU IN TEMECULA

As a Phillies fan who suffered through the “pre-genius” Francona years, it seemed strangely poetic to watch a former Indians manager end our own championship drought by beating a Joe Maddon team with Ben Zobrist on it.

I’d say Huff catches hell for this, but he’d probably drop it.

He’s tried to make me geaux to rehab
I won’t geaux, geaux, geaux.

Bondo, James Bondo.

Bayless: I agree with you in the big picture, but did you just say that x is y?

What you’re describing is basically Jacques Pepin’s chicken recipe, which is amazing. I think it would be great on any grilled meat. I will now dream about food until lunch.