@Macloserboy: You have such a way with words. And, sadly, they're all true.

@BAngieB: Awww, Happy Bday, BFD! I hope she's also playing either Elvis' Blue Christmas or Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer on a loudspeaker attached to the hood!

Amy Winehouse is learning how to smugly smack into the slammer by way of her ass. Thanks for the tips, Petey!

Cease and Desist Order From Xenu: It is KATE Cruise. Not Katie Holmes. We are watching you.

@BiscuitDoughJones: Introduce her to poop.

@rednrowdy: Um, yes, but that was before the bombs and the terrorists were coming to get us. That was before we were told to go home and nest.

@lfw1031: Idiot! I meant Bizarro-World Terri Nunn hair.

And Terri Nunn hair.

Eh, my 4-year-old neice is in prime princess phase. She loves 'em all which is odd b/c she hasn't seen all of the films nor does she spend that much time in front of the television.

Donna Karan: Down with Brown and Up with Ugly.

Oh, man! I loved that Sexton biography. She was crayzee!

@hortense: Sharon Stone would so buy a pack of Camel Toes smokes.

@avoncobra: 2 packs for $4?! Ok, then I think we can safely assume that there's no real tobacco in these. Tobacco processing costs and state legal fees are back-ended into the price of cigarettes in the form of taxes which push the cost of a smoke sky high.

OK, let's be honest, Jezzies, how many of us have awoken with cotton mouth, a splitting headache and a stranger lying next to us in bed and wondered, "Gee, what DAY is this?"

I'm online buying that core exerciser now! Can I get one for anyone else?

@bowlingfordollars: She also knows how to sign her name to royalty checks.

....while indentured servant does the heavy lifting.

@tailfeather: What the hell are those ladies doing "working" if they've got sugar daddies who buy them $4k handbags and are spending their time out at special occassions? Sheesh.

So I'm guessing my Sierra Trading Post back-pack that was on clearance doesn't qualify as a proper transitional accessory? Too bad b/c it really brings out the shine of my Tory Burch flats.

@lfw1031: "read". All the silly little shopgirls READ these silly little publications.