Woah, they made a movie about The Freeze?

“Paul feels robbed? Cry me a fuckin’ river. You know why he’s Rich, right?”
-Peter

I must have been on the cusp of a cycle or a no-hitter during my entire baseball career as a kid because none of my teammates ever spoke to me.

I dont care what anyone says, I put my home state's ignorance and racism up there with anywhere in the US

“Brazilian youngster Gabriel Jesus was the hero for Manchester City, scoring the winning penalty after Claudio Bravo came up big to save Giorgino Wijnadlum’s shot from the spot.”

I washed dishes one summer, and I’d disagree on the impact of a last minute arrival on the kitchen. It’s pretty common for kitchens to be getting a head start on cleanup before the door is locked. Grills are being cleaned, deep fryer baskets are getting washed, the floor mats are out in the alley getting hosed off....

This deserves the entire clip.

Even if he hadn’t previously taken a bite then “forgot,” based on my years of dealing with shared work refrigerators, Occam’s razor would indicate that a co-worker was fucking with his food, not that some kid who probably didn’t even know it was for a “law enforcement officer” (which, he works at a jail, so he’s…

Any other fast food item is to be binged in a disgusting display shortly after purchase and then thrown away out in the dumpster so your spouse does not see what you’ve done again

We ran Sue’s Salads out of town years ago. Ponch Burger took over her usual spot.

Of course Europe makes you better. Spend five minutes with anyone who studied abroad and they’ll tell you.

I can’t wait for the next segment of “Tinactin a Fool”

The Born Agains, Premillenium Dispensationalists anyhow, think that the existence of the state of Israel means that that Jesus is coming back any day now to drown the disbelievers in a lake of fire and usher in a 1000 year reign of peace.

Folks, if you have the misfortune (as I do) of living in a Congressional district with a Republican representative (in my case Ken Calvert, R-CA42), call his/her office and demand to know how he or she is planning to respond to Trump’s remarks. This will be especially effective if you have an apparently white accent.

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

Dear Penthouse,

This. I left South Carolina years ago. My folks still live there so I go and visit every so often. Go to the beach, go to Brookgreen Gardens, eat along the Marshwalk in Murrell’s Inlet, etc. Love it. LOVE. IT. But fuck if I ever want to move back. 

Which states have the biggest disparity between how beautiful the state’s geography is and how terrible the people are?

Twas a bad day to be orange.