When you scrolling through the want ads, see “Offensive Coordinator,” and think “I could do that.”

I try not to be overly critical, but experts? This is a fairly common occurrence, or at least it happens enough that I think applying the term expert to restaurant staff may be a bit much. That’s not to discount the amount of work that goes into the job. It is hard work and I appreciate it. Just saying, overlooking…

You think all those people in Detroit REALLY wanted to be working at a Lions game on Thanksgiving?

I have worked for companies where tipping beyond 10% was actually forbidden when using a company credit card, so if the guy is feeling guilty about it, he might discretely mention over the phone that the staff would be more charitably paid if he were charged automatic gratuity for the order.

If you google Cher this is the top “news” story:

Croll Tried!

Macallan plans to respond with its own limited blend, simply named Tammy. 

The one when my dad took my dog to the vet and came home alone saying that he “escaped”

I had a flying squirrel escape my home.

I’m confused.....

“His name is Jock Strap King” and “He’s stronger than you think.”

You know how I know you’re gay?











BECAUSE I’M YOU

Alright, who said “Speak!”?

QB: MAY, 19, 68... MAY... 19... 68...

Fan: COMMUNIST MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

QB: KILL, KILL... [Looks to sidelines, wild-eyed; makes exaggerated shrug]

Offensive Coordinator: [Signals “2" and “0"]

QB: [Nods, returns to snap count] BLUE DOG 2020, BLUE DOOOOG 2020!

CENTER: [Snaps ball]

QB: [Drops back three steps]

[Fakes left]

[Hand…

The problem with previews—and the fact that there are more than ever—is that I want to enjoy my popcorn during the movie I came to see.

Pretty sure that is just a regular fish from Alita: Battle Angler.

BORING....if you’ve never driven hands-free, three-sheet-to-the-wind, ashes and beer spilling down your shirt and the steering wheel...then you’ve also probably haven’t gotten several DUIs.