Boy, it sure is a good thing we don’t have a gun problem in this country.

I don’t know, I like the name Sir. Think of all the white men who are going to be pissed when they have to address him.

I just fucking adore Hayley Williams. The new Paramore album is required listening for anyone struggling with mental health.

She died while unconscious in a hospital bed: also not aptly described as “guns blazing.”

I know this wasn’t your intention but I would love nothing more than to be described as a “nasty banshee” by some folks

I can’t decide if you’re really weird, really cool, or both.

I hear you so much. But I’ve developed an invincible strategy:

Seriously. I started reading at an early age and knew how to spell like a mofo but got kicked out of my spelling bee at that age for misspelling “says”. I didn’t misspell it; I just had a really southern accent at the time and spoke quickly. I cried for two days. Not because I lost, but because I was so fucking…

My daughter just turned 6 yesterday, and she is definitely not doing this. In fact, as far as I can tell, all she does is make messes and drive me insane by not eating her dinner. It’s what you asked for, you little shit!!! Eat it before I jump off the roof of our building!

This is currently my favorite New Yorker cartoon:

Speaking as a Canadian here, I am with you in spirit, and I am often dismayed by people’s unwillingness to let a convict move beyond their past once their time is served. In Karla Homolka’s case, however, I have a really hard time getting past the way she took a plea deal that was based on a misrepresentation of her…

I mean, I feel like this is a very un-internet thing to say, but at this point, I just don’t have an opinion and feel like it’s between her, the school, and I guess the other parents. She was involved in some horrific things roughly 25 years ago, but what’s really in her head now is not for me to know or opine on.

She has a very kind “I’m uncomfortable” face.

No, but I will bug you in the middle of dinner.

But will they go down on me in the theater?

A lot of orchestras hold “blind auditions”: hopefuls play behind a screen, with the process arranged so that no hint of their gender presentation or race reaches the panel. These orchestras suddenly found themselves hiring people other than white men - even though they’d honestly believed they hired on merit alone.

A little curious that, on Jezebel, you don’t take a person’s word for their gender and sexuality and make a quick conclusion based on a sample of 1 (willing or unwilling) sexual partner.

Did anyone else picture, when they heard this song, Muppet versions of Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio running up to each other and shouting, “NEAR!” then running away and shouting, “FAR!”?

Came for both the hilarious comments in response and the comments from people who totally didn’t get this and I am NOT disappointed!

Your piece has touched me in a way that confirms I am singularly in tune with a zeitgiest that has past yet never existed. I am better for reading it, though I will be infinitely better when tell others I read it.