Not quite but I also noticed that we both have gaps where we can’t grow facial hair in the same spots. I will continue to talk up my lashes as they are the only part of me that’s pretty.

THERES A DRAKE PREGNACY RUMOR AND I DIDNT KNOW GIVE ME ALL THE POPCORN

I have to admit I’ve always had a bit of an eyeroll for Hilaria Baldwin. Apropos of nothing really besides her name (not her fault I know but I see Hilaria and think hilarious and just start laughing) and the contant yoga photos and instagramming. But I may just be a fan now because that is great and so so true.

Zayn is probably the most beautiful human being I’ve ever seen but also so, so boring. But his face is perfection.

Pepsi is the only way to live.

It’s really embarrassing when anyone uses that term, especially as no one seems to be weirded out by saying the word, “penis.” Acting ashamed of the word, “vagina,” only reinforces the stigma that it’s something to be ashamed of.

THIS. United chose to eject paying customers so their people could get seats. The plane was at capacity not overbooked. United failed with on two fronts, by not having guaranteed transport for staff and for you know, assaulting and abusing paying customers.

Just to make it clear. The aircraft was not “overbooked”. It only became overbooked when four additional United employees showed up late and demanded seats.

Bless you Americans and your “free” slice of pizza...

Makes sense, since Ivanka was fathered by a baboon.

This is a beta-test for Ivanka’s national child-care program

I posted this above, but I’m in the greys, so I’ll post again:

Agree. I have a friend in his 50s who has never felt able to fully come out to his family (although I’m 90% sure they know), and it has ruined every serious relationship he’s ever had. I feel really sad for older people who get mocked for not coming out earlier, when the society they lived in was immeasurably…

It’s honestly a miracle women touch us at all.

I ruined a leather recliner with my head grease. Wife bought a cover to go with the new one and I am not allowed to sit if the cover is off.

Minimize the time you spend with her but be kind when you’re together. When she’s dead you’ll regret the times you were unkind, never the times you were kind. I speak from a certain amount of experience.

This so much!!

“Now these three drawers are labeled ‘Overly Self-Critical...’ do you think I should sub categorize these out? I’m so lazy! I never follow through! My sister is better at everything!”

Agreed, total lies. I’ve kept Mr. Werner for more than two decades, and his inability to avoid dressing like a bohemian vagrant has not once melted away.

Then my hopes and dreams will again grow lofty enough for them to shit the bed in the playoffs and bring me crashing back to this god forsaken earth.