That was so astounding that it made my face go numb.

WINNER!

I guffawed.

As someone that has anxiety attacks, you don't know that this person isn't seeing a therapist.

> , "Hey, um... I'm gonna go masturbate. I'll feel a lot better, I'll stop bugging you about sex, and I insist, there is NO reason for you to feel bad/insufficient about this because this is MY problem with MY balls and I can easily take care of it myself. When I come back in ten minutes I'll feel a lot better,…

I like watching my man uh . . . polishy pearl man metaphor LEAVE ME ALONE ITS MONDAY AND THERE'S NOT ENOUGH COFFEE FOR TODAY.

Exactly this.

no big i just wanted to make sure *I* understood what you meant. Cause I mean it could go either way.

>alabanambla.

You mean secede, yes?

Also grew up in 'bama. Feel less like hiding that fact now.

goddamnit michigan, it's like, you were a BLUE state when I moved here and now you're all confused.

Yeah. I'm actually getting an IUD put in saturday. I had to fight with blue cross for like a week over the phone so that they'd cover it even though it's actually covered under the ACA—but i'm getting this damn thing put in before the republicans take that crap back.

A small business, especially one that requires skilled employees, cannot also afford the turnover that a large company can. Small businesses tend to have less automated processes, and in the case of property management, where I work, many places are offering a comparable product, and tenants tend to rent here because…

I saw the translations in the comments, but I think this would be better rendered as "Don't excuse or forget the killing of women."

Oh god, this.

all the feels, god. I hope to only be so lucky as to find someone like that one day.

I love how nobody got the cannibal reference here.

I think we just need to flat out redefine the word "cheating", because our current definition of it basically just applies to sex.

98% ? 98%? WTF?