To be fair to X-Files: I Want to Believe, the issue wasn't lack of interest, it was bad timing. It came out the week after Nolan's The Dark Knight, which steamrolled every other movie released for a month. If Fox wanted to give the second X-files movie a fighting chance, it would have bumped it back 1-2 months to a…

We also wouldn't have needed to bother building the Hadron collider, just get two comment board posters to throw stuff at each other after a slow Saturday afternoon of alone-time.

It's actually an elaborate and desperate attempt to find a decent pitcher.

"We're putting musicians on baseball cards! Yes, that's right baseball cards!"
"You keep using those words, I do not think they mean what you think they mean."

Uh, with all the people who are dying early of Twitter-induced heart disease, we can probably take it from social security. Thanks Twitbama!

Who's the king of cool now Vinny?!?

Hmm, I wonder what the health effects of negative instagramming are.

What about tweeting pics of yourself smoking?

Can't even finish a simple cuss. Stupid motherf

I'm sure someone will cook you in a delicious stew before heart disease even has a chance. If that helps.

And you get heart disease! And you get heart disease! And you get heart disease! And you get heart disease!

Upon hearing this, part of me wants to dress up as an old bearded prospector and go sifting for tokens in the ball pit.

It's all about practice. Kind of like how you can drive 90mph on a crowded highway while eating a chalupa without swerving into other cars with each bite if you practice.

By contrast, Hot in Cleveland lovers have to keep telling people that it's what Cougar Town is supposed to be about and not an ongoing documentary series on the effects of climate change on Ohio farming.

Which is a shame because Meloni was consistently hilarious.

Glad the Surviving Jack writers are getting a second chance; Surviving Jack didn't deserve cancellation, that was pretty damn funny. Hopefully they keep the same comedic sensibility and this time the show's network sees its value.

As well as in a piece of fan-fiction on my livejournal

Relax, the bottom half of every Chuck E. Cheese ball pit is just dried "accidental" poops.

"We’d pay $10 to see Blacula Vs. Foxy Brown—wouldn’t you?"

I don't see what use the people in the hatches will have for a baton. Now an inanimate carbon rod, that's a whole different ballgame. Those are ideal for hatches.