This is what we call dodging a bullet.

Gee, and we wouldn't want that now would we?

Because he's governor and has a fat ass? I get jokes.

Not many people realize that Japan's bombing of Pearl Harbor was in response to Harry S. Truman ordering the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki back in the 1850s.

I asked Google to translate that comment to Spanish and got "El Sploosho"

True enough, for a "first!"-style commenter, he says something of substance instead of just being first for the "glory".

It was a pretty backhanded compliment. "I'm surprised how intellectual that comment was because normally your comments are dumb, [terrorist joke related to name]"

He might electrocute me, but he's an electro-cutie.

Mulaney's delivery during stand-up is great, but it's as if no one told him he'd need to change it for a character-based TV show. He seems to be deaf to natural-sounding delivery of even the most basic lines of dialogue. It also doesn't help that the lines of dialogue are cliched, overused sitcom jokes.

::4 hours of progress lost::

We now live in a world where once uber-popular megastar Tom Cruise has been outranked by Chris Pratt. Great world.

"Also, you'd really find out if your kids love you for you"

Dammit, North Korea. You made me agree with Mitt Romney, that's easily the worst thing to come of all this.

Well were you or weren't you?! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!

She's covering Lorde's "Feeling Good on a Wednesday"

Really? I think they might be the most unique thing about the show. His guests take an approach to him they don't take with any other host - even actors. There's an interview between Colbert and Diane Keaton that could never, ever happen on another show. There's this really confrontational vibe, and yet the entire…

Considering how painfully unfunny Fallon is, they might start watching him, but they likely won't make it through a full episode. Fallon gets his guests to do fun things, but he himself as a host is quite bad.

The Turk's possess android technology?!

ICH NEIN STACKENBLOCHEN!

We've been waiting for you to switch over to the Chosen Leader's calendar for years, don't act like you've been on it all along.